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.' `. / / `| |_)\/ / / / \| |_
: : \_\_,|_| \/_/ \_\_/|_|
: : ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ _ ___
: _/| : | | \| |_( ( | |_)/ /_\ | || |_)
: =/_/ : |_|_/|_|__)_)|_| /_/ \|_||_| \ #25
`._/ | .' =============================================
( / ,|...-' Staff: Alerious, Apollonia, Barentin,
\_//|| |__ Brakko, Conran, Elaria, Elbanon, Kannan,
_/' `'""`"` \_ Laine, Leonatos, Micala, Odessyus, Tso
__/ -'/ `-._ `\_\__ Saraphin, Shamisen, Shingo, Thabo, Tobie
jgs/-'` `\ \ \-.\ Mortal Editor: Kuah
Immortal Editors: Ayesh and Lascivias
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Contents:
Cry2 -9 FEATURE - CoD Explained Cry28-32 Horoscopes
Cry10-11 It's the End of the world! Cry33-35 Funny Bones
Cry12-14 The Ruins Cry36 Want Ads
Cry15-20 The Masters (Part 1) Cry37 Thank You
Cry21-27 Group News
======================================================================
CoD Explained . Written By: Tso
======================================================================
I write this article for reasons which are easily explained. Those
reasons are to help the people of these realms understand the changes
which have taken place over this publication. We now offer all we can,
in ways that are true to this world and ourselves. But if I am to tell
you of these things, we must get started, else they never can be done.
'Twas not long ago that our society of scribes were wandering. We
had waited long for a time when there were those who needed our skills
to show them the path of understanding. Through our adventures, we
listened to many tales and wrote these tales down so that one-day we
could share them with the populace. Heroes had come and gone, great
gods were created and destroyed. Yet many never knew of such things,
partly not wanting to and partly never having the chance to know.
We sensed a want and need for us. Some call it fate, others call it
destiny and call it luck. We were lucky, for we had stumbled upon this
town in our quests. This is how we arrived in Darkhaven.
======================================================================
CoD Explained . Written By: Tso
======================================================================
We had been to this city many times, but on most of these occasions
we were here only to collect interesting information that the great
hero's would offer us. Yet this time, there was something different
about the city. An ominous 'something' loomed over us, making our
society of scribes feel uneasy and unwelcome.
Yet, instead of running from this, we took it as an opportunity
to investigate what could make a great story. With this, we hired
a paladin who had finely tuned himself into the more spiritual things
of this World. With a concerned face, he led us to the place that he
felt was the source of the feelings that wished to drive us away.
You can imagine how surprised we were when we found ourselves in
front of the Darkhaven Town Hall.
There was a great Muttering amongst many of our people, one of
anxiousness and fear. However, our Anxiousness was soon overridden by
our enormous curiosity. Fate, it seemed, wanted us to enter this
place and find out the truth for ourselves. So we did. Our group
cautiously wondered into the Town hall, fearing the worst, yet not
caring for anything except to understand these happenings.
======================================================================
CoD Explained . Written By: Tso
======================================================================
The looming feelings of dismay grew ever stronger and we knew that
something in this building did not want us here. But by the look of
it, we could tell it was not contained in the main part of the hall.
The place was orderly and clear. It was a young one in our society
that then mentioned the stairs leading upwards that we had never
noticed before. It must have slipped our Minds because of the
obviousness about it. So, in turn, we filed up these stairs one by
one, throwing caution to the wind in order to find what was trying to
drive us away. As we reached the landing of the third floor, a pulse
of hate and animosity came over us.
Many of us held our heads from these strong feelings, but we all
stood firm in our Convictions. We wanted to know what was going on,
and nothing was going to stop us. The hall itself became deformed
with these feelings, it having corrupted the very stone of the walls
and floor. They became dark and foreboding.
We could tell this was a warning. Weaker creatures would have fled,
yet we continued on through the building. It was not long before we
had led ourselves to the southeasterly wing of the second floor,
coming to a large and cluttered room.
======================================================================
CoD Explained . Written By: Tso
======================================================================
In this room sat two figures. For a while they did not notice us,
and only sat there contemptuously staring at each other.
One of the older and braver souls cleared his throat loudly and it
was then the figures turned to us and we recognized them. They were
Daemons! But not just any daemons, they were the two that we had long
ago sworn to vanquish.
Their names were Cynzor and Lawyr and together they had plagued our
ranks with their Daemon pranks and falsities. They found it their duty
to try to keep the truth about the goings on in the world covered in
red tape and blotting ink. These were their devilish weapons, used to
tie up those that would show the truth and cover their words with
blackness.
They had been effective weapons, blotting out many of the tales that
we had tried to show the people. The daemons and our party only stood
there watching each other for a time, until Lawyr Spoke.
"How dare you enter in these halls? Do you not know that it is
against the law to Constantly harass the people of these realms with
your tales of truth."
======================================================================
CoD Explained . Written By: Tso
======================================================================
"No one wants to hear them. Under Section 4, Paragraph b, Line 3 of
the BI-laws, it clearly states"
Immediately, an elder scribe spoke up against the demon before Lawyr
could finish his statement. "Damn you!" she said, "Even your laws
cannot justify your actions. The people of these realms have the right
to know.."
"Oh my!" spoke the Daemon Cynzor, "I'm sorry, but you cannot say
such harsh things publicly. You will have to be Cynzord. Lawyr, would
you helping me keep this one from saying anything else that could
cause her and others harm?"
With that, Lawyr grinned and motioned towards the scribe. A large
piece of red cloth materialized and stuck itself over her mouth,
denying her the ability to speak. We huddled around her, trying to
block the daemons.
But fate and luck were not to deny us help. A freak gust of wind
blew through the halls, tumbling over a large stack of books that
stood in the corner of the room. One fell directly on the Daemon
Cynzor's little toe.
"GASPLUNDCH!" He exclaimed. His odd expletive rang in our ears
and singed out hair with its force.
======================================================================
CoD Explained . Written By: Tso
======================================================================
"I heard that", a bodiless voice informed us. It was then that two
figured stepped out of thin air into the middle of the room. It was
the immortals Lascivias and Ayesh. Many of us stood back in shock, for
the gods rarely showed themselves to us mortals.
"Cynzor," spoke Lascivias, I do not appreciate you using such
profanity, no matter if its in a language that they cannot understand.
I am deeply offended by your words. Ayesh, would you care for the
honor of Cynzoring this daemon?"
Ayesh nodded with a slight grin and waved his hands at Cynzor.
Within a blink of an eye, the daemon was gone, and a large boar with
wings stood in his place. The boar squealed in utter dismay and hid
itself underneath a conference table.
It was the remaining Daemon, Lawyr that spoke first. "You dare
break the terms of our contract by meddling in our affairs? You know
quite well that you are not to bother with us when we are dealing with
mortals!"
Lascivias just blinked in response to his remark.
"It clearly states on page 2, paragraph C, line 3 of our contract
that..."
======================================================================
CoD Explained . Written By: Tso
======================================================================
But once again he was interrupted. It was the elder scribe. She
strode forward, tearing the red tape from her mouth speaking harshly
at the demon.
"How dare You, Lawyr! You break your own contact with your words!
Look closely at the very first page. You will find your signed
agreement to abide by the decisions of the immortals at all times.
You have no right do doubt their actions, even if they did turn your
brother into a wild boar."
After her anger was spent, she semi-sheepishly backed up to our
group. Lawyr poured over the front page of the contract and said,
"Well, ill be damned. How could I have missed that?" The winged
boar squealed indignantly at his words.
Ayesh was the first to respond. "Well, Lascivias, he seems to have
broken the rules. What say you, shall we terminate his privileges?"
Lascivias gave an utterly evil grin and nodded. She motioned
quickly towards Lawyr. His body began an odd change, bending here,
folding there, and shrinking all over. When it was done, A winged
shark was all that was left of his formal self. The shark shuddered
silently to itself but decided to make the best of the situation.
======================================================================
CoD Explained . Written By: Tso
======================================================================
It awkwardly flew towards the boar with its jaws open, planning on a
nice pork lunch. Yet, the boar would have none of this and quickly
flew out of the room, the shark on its tail.
"You have done well, Mortals. You have beaten them at their own
game." Spoke the goddess. "Even if you did need a little help, you
did a very fine job. Those two were getting on my nerves. Couldn't
have a private moment alone with someone without red tape flying all
over the place."
Ayesh chuckled and said, "Here, I give you this for your
accoplishments." With a wave of his hand he transformed the room into
a neet workspace. "There are times In these realms where there is a
need for your kind to write the truth. Make sure you do it well. If
you need our help, we will be here for you."
With that, they dissapeared once again into thin air. We were all
slightly baffeled by this. But we patted eachother on the back and went
around our new office exploring. We found aincient presses and
templates, just begging to be used. We had finaly found a place that
needed us, and we had also found the support we longed for. With our
enemies gone, we set forth to Bring you, The Cry Of Despair.
======================================================================
It's the End of the World! . Written By: Shingo
======================================================================
Since the day I forgot how to cast locate object, I kept thinking to
myself: Is the end of the world coming? Then, I realized that it
certainly is. Being the head of The Symposium council, we get the
everday visits from the immortals and we get news about how the world
is going to evolve.
As it turns out, the day when the world is going to make a quantum
leap forward is nearing, and I can't help but be pessimistic about
that day. These magical occurances of people realizing new skills,
and spells... it all seems strange to me that this could happen, and
not one thing go wrong.
There are stories being spread by the fortune tellers, that new
deities will come forward, to take their place among us. There are
stories that two new classes will walk among us. There are stories of
the evil ones, gaining more power than they have ever had. I can not
help but think, that these happenings are all a part of one large
prophecy; one that will be fulfilled, and the world will end.
======================================================================
It's the End of the World! . Written By: Shingo
======================================================================
There will be days when the lag monster will run free... and force us
into the darkness, for many hours at a time. The first day, we will
probably never see the light of day for many hours. It will be a time
of boredom, and despair. More coverage of the events after the day the
world evolves, if it hasn't ended by that time...
) ) ( ) ( ( )
( (( ) ) )) ( (( ( )) ) )) ((
) ) ) (( ( ( ( ) ) ) ) )( ( (( ( ( ) )
|( ( ( ) ) ) ) ) ( ( (( ( ) )) ) ) )( ( ||
|\___ )( (( ( ( ) ) )) ) ( ( ( ( )__)/|
======================================================================
The Ruins . Written By: Odessyus Harthlen
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I have just escaped the Umbrageous Ruins unfound, and read many
secret parchments and overheard many conversations once again.
Three new powers have arrived in these lands, that go by the names of
Daemonite, Phoenix and Illuminati. They have overthrown the powers
before them and have begun a new era. Though these new giants hold a
tight grip on their wordly throne, there still are rumors of other
powers joining this revolution and adding to the balance of power
between the two, so very different worlds, of the people that inhabit
this land.
As I was nearing a crumbled temple, I heard voices behind me.
Steadily, I jumped behind some rubble and listened to a conversation
of two unidentified voices. One calmly spoke of how he wished to
import teachers from where each clan's origin, to teach them new
skills and spells that could aid them in conquering all. Then the
other voice arose beyond a mere talk and began to yell back at the
first.
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The Ruins . Written By: Odessyus Harthlen
======================================================================
Explaining what would happen if trainers were to make home in their
clan halls. Other trainers are more knowledgeable, and therefore
would enhance their own's abilities, while weakening others, which
disrupts the very reason why the new powers arrived.
The conversation suddenly stopped, but soon after I found myself
studying the fine texture of pieces of what used to be a glorious
temple. Under a cracked block, I found a crumpled parchment. The
writing was scribbled, as if it was written in a hurry. Being the
nosey thief that I am, I had to summarize it:
Apparently the powers have been recruiting mindless drones to do
their bidding, summoning the drones to wherever they please, and
having them do the works of a thief--stealing weapons to further
weaken their opponent.
I thought it was clear to leave, but as I poked my head from under
the ruins, one young fighter attacked another. Soon after, two more
joined, attacking the attacker. Reinforcements then poured in from
all sides of me.
======================================================================
The Ruins . Written By: Odessyus Harthlen
======================================================================
With strange fascination, I watched. If there was not a fight, I could
have been easily found, I found myself standing out in the opene. The
fighting was extraordinary. Each with charismatic movements and
sophisticated style, I now know what sets these two worlds apart.
Fearing of my capture and death that would surely come if I was found,
which was likely to happen with the fighters crazily running
throughout the town, I gathered my belongings and sped off into the
darkness.
======================================================================
The Masters . Written By: Kuah Cha'Din
======================================================================
A very old friend of mine, an old cranky dwarf known around Dark Haven
as simply Hauk the Dwarf, was finishing the last touches on the giant
and simply beautiful hall where a special and unique meeting of all
GuildMasters in the known realms would meet to discuss topics and to
share ideas and philosophies with each other. We had been expecting
them to arrive at any time, and deep down in my gut I had started to
worry that things would not go easy and this could get ugly. This was
a large and very historical meeting, and even the stoic Hauk seemed
to sway back and forth on his heels in anticipation.
The large hall provided by the powerful Duke Luther was filled with
sweet smells of wine and pastry. It also echoed with the sounds of
Llewythin Nimenor (who had agreed to play part of the entertainment
to the honored guest of this historical meeting). His simple tune was
interupted by the clearing of the throat of the elven herald who was
to announce the guests as they arrived. His sudden stance and quick
glance was a cue... the first had arrived.
======================================================================
The Masters . Written By: Kuah Cha'Din
======================================================================
We had not heard the echoes of footsteps for long when the nervous
elven herald called out, "Announcing, The brave and strong, Selina,
GuildMaster of the Warriors Guild and her Escort, the warrior, Gul."
At the sight of the two warriors the herald quickly bowed and backed
away into the shadows. Servents quickly rushed in to fill glasses.
Selina looked over the hall and at the grand table, with as much
grace as could be possible she very quickly moved to change all of
the seatting arrangements to suit her. Hauk shot me a quick stare and
was about to speak up when I silenced him with a wave of my hand. It
would not be wise to have the old dwarf upset the first guest right
away. (and I had hoped he would be in rare form and not upset any).
When she was satisfied with the change in seating, Selina took hers
and the large warrior Gul stood behind her chair and with a quick tap
of his sword pommel he made it clear that no one forget his presence.
I gave a quick nod to Selina and looked back at Hauk, who I knew was
still stewing over the changes made to the seating arrangements, I was
about to welcome the two warriors to the meeting when a quick breeze
and the smell of pine had filled the hall. The herald jumped up into
position. The second guest had arrived.
======================================================================
The Masters . Written By: Kuah Cha'Din
======================================================================
We heard no echoes of footsteps this time and the sudden appearance of
the next guest in the doorway had both Gul and Hauk near the drawing
of weapons. Quickly the herald shouted out "The grand and true, Linda
Silverwolf, GrandMaster of the Guild of Rangers and her bodyguard the
hunter known as Gaanmanal."
Linda took each strong step slowly towards the table. Gaanmanal was
to her left. I had hoped there would be no more seating changes as
it was clear Gul and Gaanmanal would both be willing to hold contest
if satisfaction was not met. But Linda just nodded silently to the
servents who filled her wine glass and took her seat without delay.
As her bodyguard Gaanmanal took the glass before she drank from it
looked it over, gave me a look, nodded to Hauk, and returned the glass
to Linda who took a small polite sip. Again I was about to welcome
the rangers to the meeting when a coil of red light started to spiral
around the entrance to the hall. The red was joined by a coil of
green and then blue and then all sorts of colors. When it seemed we
would all be blinded a form stepped out of the light as it dissipated.
The next guest had arrived.
======================================================================
The Masters . Written By: Kuah Cha'Din
======================================================================
"Announcing the wise and mystic, Alovea of the Augurers Guild."
Alovea smiled to all in the hall and made her way to her seat. I took
a small glance at Hauk who was seemed frozen with his jaw open at the
entrance made by Alovea. I cleared my throat to get his attention so
he did not look like a fool for long. The servents rushed to pour wine
for Alovea who took a sip while nodding to the others who were already
in attendance. I, again, was about to greet our guest when a very tiny
but bright purple ball of light floated past my nose. At first I had
thought it was but a reflection from the stained glass in the hall,
but then another ball of light appeared, soon the hall was filled with
them. The bodyguards and even Hauk had partly drawn weapons at the
odd lights. I was uttering prayers to every deity I could remember,
Then smoke as purple as the northern wines started to plume all around
the table. The smoke had vanished in a bright purple flash and all was
as clear as if nothing had happened, save for a woman who stood with
a grin in the middle of the hall. Standing behind Hauk, (who also had
fully drawn his sword and somewhere in the smoke his helmet had fallen
over his eyes, he looked so foolish). The Herald who now looked pale
even for an elf let out in a cracked voice, "The intelligent and
lovely Saraphin, The GrandMaster of the Mages Guild."
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The Masters . Written By: Kuah Cha'Din
======================================================================
Saraphin corrected Hauks helmet and gave him a smile and she floated
over to her seat, that she quickly moved. (Although after all the
excitement of the entrances no one seemed to mind.) And there to add
comfort, a friend from the Cry of Despair staff, Saraphin placed her
seat right next to mine. With a smile she lifted her glass in the air,
took a sip and then took her seat as if nothing had happened and
flashy purple smoked filled entrances were common place. More servants
had come from the kitchen to peek in at all the excitement, and low
voices and chatter seemed to echo all around the hall. I could already
see that Hauk had aged about ten years. It could not get more stranger
than this could it? At that exact thought, all went black. The only
sound I remember is the 'gasps' from the servants and one elven
herald. Then a cold, an evil cold, filled the room. I heard Gul and
Gaanmanal draw weapons and I myself fumbled for my dagger. I knew
then and there some demon had come to put an end to this historic and
worldy meeting. Then as fast as it can be done, it went from cold to
hot as a pillar of fire rose from the darkness. Mounted upon a great
wyrm was a man in black. For brief seconds, time and space had no
meaning, as this man dismounted the wyrm and bowed to all. Then the
sights and sounds of the castle hall returned to normal, and a new
figure stood before the table. The next guest had arrived.
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The Masters . Written By: Kuah Cha'Din
======================================================================
"Announcing the..." The elf was cut off,
"Silence herald!, I am Sagat, the Bitter, GrandMaster of the Guild of
Nephandi!" He gave a slow bow and an evil grin to all in the hall and
took his seat. The servants (they didd not rush this time) came to
fill his glass with wine, when he held out his hand, palm up, to the
servants. Laughing as only evil can laugh, he snapped his own fingers
and created his own wine. He then took a sip and nodded to himself in
approval. I shot a glance at Hauk who had now looked to of aged twenty
years. This can not continue like this, the whole castle is on guard,
I have body guards ready to test skills, the servants are worried and
the air was tight with tension. This meeting was not going to be easy
and the scary part was half of the leaders had yet to arrive...
To be continued in the next issue.
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Group News . Written By: Alerious and staff
======================================================================
We hope that all of the Guild/Order/Nation Reps. are in place soon.
We hope that soon the exchange of information from organization to
us to you, the reader, will be easy for all parties in the future.
If you do not see the news here you think you should, let us all hope
that it was 'lost in the shuffle' and not from lack of caring on the
part of your organization. All groups have been contacted and things
are slowly falling into place. Does your Leader or Rep. care? We do.
Any information that is not sent to is from the Reps. can be posted
on the public Cry of Despair board located e,s,2up,s,w,s from DH[].
The same board can be found south in the quill and parchment shop
on Market Street. Thanks to all the organizations who have been more
than willing and helpful with news and support.
Olog'hai (Half-Troll Nation)
After his interesting wedding, Tso, The Olog'hai nation leader, has
been slowly going mad. He can now be seen dancing with the pixies
and even with the shadows. Let us all morn in his passing when he
leaves these realms on saturday night. His legacy will live on in
Mammon who he has delcaired to be the new Olog'hai Leader.
======================================================================
Group News . Written By: Alerious and staff
======================================================================
Drow Nation
As much as we don't like letting people know what we are up to. We'll
tell everyone just a bit about whats going on in the Drow Nation.
Raltaris once leader of house Shroudweaver is now Nation First. Dyrgil
once devoted member of Ul-Ilindith is now Nation second. We are also
reforming the Dark circle, a group of Elder Magi who specialize in the
Dark arts. We have open trade with the human nation and have decied to
treat our slaves better by giving them straw to sleep on. We will also
be holding a few Nation Runs, they are mostly for the Drow but, other
races are welcome to join if they sign up.
Also, the place for Matron/Patron in The Silver Coin is open. and all
8 houses are looking for new Drow to recruit.
Thats all that we can share at this time, the rest is a secret.
May the Shadows Protect.
Capercailie malla Valsharess d'lil Ilythiiri.
======================================================================
Group News . Written By: Alerious and staff
======================================================================
Order of Dragonslayer
DragonSlayers would like to welcome it's newest members :
_ _
_ //` `\
_,-"\/ // /``\`\ Auanmyki
-`- )__` |/ // / ) `\`\ Garndakii
) )/// / ) ) )`\`\
/ (//'/.\_/\_/\_/\`/ Sanin
( ' `-._`
\ , ( \ _`-.__.-;/>
/_`\ \ `\ \." `-..-'`
``` /_/`"-=-'`/_/
``` ```
May they feel welcome and much joy in our family.
======================================================================
Group News . Written By: Alerious and staff
======================================================================
Guild of Druids
"Druids in Green" - by Wyll "Pheayre" Smyth
Here come the Druids in Green
(it's da DiGs, *UH*, here come the DiGs!)
Here come the Druids in Green, the ones that you remember
The good guys dress in green, ain't it keen
Just in case we meet face-to-face on a scene
The title held by me, DiG,
Means what you think you saw, you did not see
Don't think big bucks, doodads, and all now
Wear a green suit, put Shade's ray bans on
Hide in shadow, sneak in silence,
Guard against extra-druidic violence
But yo we ain't on no immortal list
We straight don't exist, no names and no fingerprints
So you see something strange, watch yer back
You never quite know where's the DiGs is at
*UH* at...
CHORUS: Here come the Druids in Green, RoD's defenders!
Here come the Druids in Green, the one that you remember...
======================================================================
Group News . Written By: Alerious and staff
======================================================================
Guild of Druids (continued)
From the frigid seas, quaking thunder on the horizon
Bright lightning, no animal life,
And cameras zoom on the impending doom
But then like boom green suits fill the room up
With the quickness talk with the witnesses
Newbie Trashers, Av Tenderizers
Vicious enemies, turned to memories, by da DiGs, can I plead
Do what we say, that's the way we kick it
You know what I mean?
Or see my cuddly dragon get wicked on ya
We're your first, last
And only line of defense against the worst mobs of the universe
So don't fear us, cheer us
If you ever get near us, don't jeer us, we're fearless
RoD's freezing up on screen
(what's that stand for)
DRUIDS IN GREEN...
uh ah... the Druids in Green... uh uh uh ah ah uh uh...
the Druids in Green... uh uh uh ah ah uh uh...
======================================================================
Group News . Written By: Alerious and staff
======================================================================
Guild of Druids (continued)
Lemme just see you bounce with me, just bounce with me,
just bounce with me,
come on, lemme just see you plant to me, just plant to me,
just plant to me,
come on, lemme see you speedwalk with me, speedwalk with me,
speedwalk with me,
come on, and Oak Evolution!... now take root...
CHORUS: Here come the Druids in Green, RoD's defenders!
Here come the Druids in Green, the one that you remember...
Alright check it, lemme tell you this in closing
I know we might seem imposing
But trust me, if we ever show in your section
Believe me, it's for your own protection
Cuz we see things you've even not seen
And we've been places that you've even not been
So level where you like, forget that real-life crap
Give hugs to the green trees
cuz thats the druids in, the druids in...
CHORUS (X3): Here come the Druids in Green, RoD's defenders!
Here come the Druids in Green, the one that you remember...
======================================================================
Group News . Written By: Alerious and staff
======================================================================
Guild of Mages
GoM is not accepting applications at this point in time. We're
working on getting a new IT leader right now, so if you're wanting to
apply.
we'll keep updates posted on the board in the recruiting office, which
is found 2e, s, w of DH [].
We would also like to welcome all of our MANY apprentices and wish
them much luck on getting past their apprentice state! :)
======================================================================
Horoscopes . Written By: Shamisen
======================================================================
Predictions and Star-Readings for this the Month of the Shadows, as
divined by Abderrahmen El Masmudi, appointed Royal Astrologer and
Foremost Seer to the court of His Exalted Worship, Sultan Yakub the
Fourth of New Thalos:
General Predictions:
The Astral Plane's present quadri-dimensional path along its
prescribed spacetime curve will bring it into conjunction with the
Void, signifying an increase in ethereal winds as well as
magnification of quantum frequency close to to the middle of this
month. Spellcasters should take caution using energy-based magic on
the 13th and 15th, as adverse effects may occur. An increase in
activity has also been observed in the first four tiers of the
Inferno, therefore evil-aligned characters may become more powerful
on the 22nd through the 24th.
======================================================================
Horoscopes . Written By: Shamisen
======================================================================
Deity-Specific Predictions (MAJOR)
Brontrel A slight imbalance occurs this month in the favor of Evil,
therefore he will be more occupied with restoring order. Followers
should expect Brontrel to be less attentive to their needs as a
result.
A'enaar A'enaar will be helping Brontrel to pull the stellar balance
in the favor of good. Because of this increased expenditure of energy,
those devoted to her might experience slight penalties in the
beginning of the month.
Eustathius As a follower of neutrality, Eustathius will stay clear
of the conflicts between other gods. Devoters should experience an
aversion toward spicy foods throughout the month.
Laschte Followers of this deity will benefit from increased bonuses
resulting from the chaos created by the fighting of the Greater Gods.
Be wary of a friend attempting to lead you onto the path of order on
the 12th.
Vl'Arescht The god of Evil smiles upon you this moon. Go forth and
slay your enemies, burn their homes and loot their bodies. Vl'Arescht
will guide your weapons and wills.
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Horoscopes . Written By: Shamisen
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Deity-Specific Predicitions (LESSER)
Omanith
Your spiral blast may hit someone's pet on the 13th, be careful.
Volarh
Good days for emptying your victims' pockets are the 3rd and 14th.
Il'Liara
Energy-based spells may backfire around the middle of the month.
Cru'Udakh
A fight on the 11th may prove ill-fated, use caution and heal often
Aalakab
You will be susceptible to fang-aches on the 10th, 20th and 21st.
Vaiza
Your equipment is falling into disrepair. See a blacksmith soon.
Circe
Don't let anger cloud judgment in settling a dispute on the 15th.
Scryn
A snowball fight is recommended to ease tension and calm the nerves.
Cabal
Frolicking in the rain might bring about a cold - seek a cleric.
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Horoscopes . Written By: Shamisen
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Deity-Specific Predicitions (LESSER)
Grishnakh
Purchase of a new weapon is recommended, a battle may occur soon.
Kali
Strike when the night is dark and your opponent's back unprotected.
Adonia
Ingestion of a rotten kiwi might bring about food poisoning on the 4th
Taboo
You will be favored in fights against dragons on the 12th and 23rd.
Deity-Specific Predicitions (MINOR)
Ch'Aranol
Lucky number for this month is 17. Good days for gambling are the
3rd, 10th and 24th.
Nae'trelle
You may be tempted to share a secret you were given, but keeping
quiet now will bring far more fruitful results later.
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Horoscopes . Written By: Shamisen
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Bor'Hin
Exploring Ocean Keep on the 10th through 15th will bring favourable
outcomes. Be on the lookout for un-looted bodies.
E'Soa
Windchill factors near the end of the month may bring pneumonia to the
unproperly equipped worshipper. Seek better armor.
Er'res
A visit to the New Thalos bordello on the 12th may bring you more than
you bargained for.. Use adequate protection of be prepared for a hefty
healer's fee.
Finaglera
Playing a joke on a close friend this month may turn sour as you
realize the joke has been played on you.
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Funny Bones . Written By: Staff
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Funny Titles
Fedmahn Kassad-Teale wears a mistletoe belt buckle.
Brane finds traces of polyparaphenyleneterephthalamide.
Mino likes to pretend he's not gay.
Aibolith: I once was lost, but now I'm just blind.
Sagashi-I think, therefore, I have a headache..
Geremonol Whitefang lets loose his [liZard].
Booya!.
Ellias fell out of the family tree:..(CMP)...
Kanann: Make Seven... Up yours!.
Scitocran narcoticS.
Taboo. My Favorite Dreams Are Nightmares.
Valanna: The me that you know had some second thoughts.
Shargate, 8================ King of Viagra ==============).
Feronax wishes to achieve a nihilistic state.
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Funny Bones . Written By: Staff
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Late one night, early one morning overheard in the Newbie Council...
Laurel counciltalks 'We need a Carrotcake :)'
Alisia counciltalks 'Good grief..... what have I done :P'
Laurel says 'You've gotten a good joke going :)'
Alisia counciltalks 'I shoulda never called her a Cupcake :P'
Laurel says 'good for morale :)'
Loril counciltalks 'Chubby bunch of Newbie Helpers bouncing around
the Realms to the rescue!... That's what you've done :P'
Laurel counciltalks 'LOL!!!!'
Raltaris counciltalks 'rofl :)'
Loril counciltalks '*bounce*'
Alisia counciltalks 'Ya outta make an echo for us :) The Betty Crocker
Brigade is here to serv and feed you..'
Loril counciltalks '*cackle*'
Laurel counciltalks 'Oh, that would be so cool!'
Alisia counciltalks 'Toppings not included'
Loril shouts 'The Betty Crocker Brigade is here to serve and feed you!
On duty!'
Raltaris counciltalks 'I thought NC meant Nut Cases... obviously its
Nut Cakes :P'
Loril counciltalks 'Raltaris has got it :P'
Laurel counciltalks 'ROFL!!!!!!'
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Funny Bones . Written By: Staff
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Sage Thoughts From Elbanon...
If the universe turns out to be just a big existential game being
played out over the centuries by some giant omnipotent beings, and we
are all just tokens being moved around the board for their amusement,
I hope that they put all the pieces away properly when they're done,
because I would hate to spend eternity smashed between the couch
cushions with some stale Fruit Loops and a half-chewed Sugar Daddy.
-
During our routine sweep of the Realms of Despair we, the infamous
MUD Police, have discovered that you have been on your chair in front
of the computer TOO LONG!
You are HEREBY ORDERED to clean up that pile of cups, cans,
wrappersand papers on your desk (yes, we can see you -- sit up
straight!) and after you have logged into the real world for a
minimum of ten minutes you may log back on to Realms.
Failure to comply may result in loss of reality (exluding those who
lost contact long ago), carpal tunnel syndrome, and the requirement
of a larger chair. The timer starts NOW! Get off your butt -- you'll
thank us for it later....
continued...
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Want Ads . Written By: Staff
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If you want to place an annoouncement or ad in the Cry of Despair? It
is as easy as posting your announcement e,s,2u,s,w,s from DH[], or by
posting your ad on the board south in the quills and parchment shop on
Market street. You can also mud-mail any member of the staff with your
request as well.
For Sale by the Candle at the New Ocean Keep Coffee-House all this
Week: The good ship Mary and Elizabeth - square stern, Kingdom built,
burden 450 tons more or less, about five years old, flushed deck,
quarter galleries, sails fast, remarkably handy, of an easy draught of
water, extraordinarily well found and particularly calculated for the
timber and Deal trade, suitable for any employ where burden is
required, now lying in Dudman's Wet Dock, south Harbor Road.
Inventories and particulars may be had of Sir Thomas Berriman, no. 67
Mansion Road, Ocean Keep.
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Thank you from the Society of Scribes!
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Thank you from all of us!
Staff: Alerious, Apollonia, Barentin, Brakko, Conran, Elaria,
Elbanon, Kannan, Laine, Leonatos, Micala, Odessyus, Saraphin,
Shamisen, Shingo, Thabo, Tobie, Tso
Mortal Editor: Kuah
Immortal Editors: Ayesh and Lascivias
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