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\ / / `| |_)\/ / / / \| |_ | | \| |_( ( | |_)/ /_\ | || |_) /
/ \_\_,|_| \/_/ \_\_/|_| |_|_/|_|__)_)|_| /_/ \|_||_| \ \
\ Number 23 /
/ \
\ Staff /
/ \
\ Alendil, Alerious, Apollonia, Brakko, Dacoit, Elaria, /
/ Elbanon, Kuah, Kayah, Micala, Odessyus, Shingo, Thabo, \
\ Tobie, Xantryke. And of course our editor, Mystaric! /
/ \
\ Contents /
/ \
\ Cry2 A Note 4 You! Cry21-27 Funny Bones! /
/ Cry3-10 The CoD Awards Cry28-32 Group News \
\ Cry11-16 Cloak and Dagger Cry33-34 Classified /
/ Cry17-20 Mud Marriage Part 2 \
\ /
/ \
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A Note 4 You
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We are Back!
Did you miss us? We missed you. We missed putting the paper
together, thus we missed bringing an enhancement to your stay
in the Realms of Despair. We are going to do our best to be
dedictaed and prompt with the release of future issues. We
want to take this time to tell you we are sorry we had been
away but we are back and ready to add to your enjoyment. As
always we are open to complaint and complement. Thank you,
and enjoy.
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The CoD Awards
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The CoD Awards!
By: You the Voters!
The votes are in! You the player have spoken! Thank you all
for taking the time to send in your votes! The results will
be shown with a graph of most to least. Some categories that
had a million of single votes will be the only exception.
FAVORITE IMMORTAL
Kali XXXXX Aphrael XXX
Phred XXX Moonbeam XX
Thoric XX Serina X
Edmond X Mystaric X
Lori X Gorog X
Viracocha X Kattia X
Dria X Adonia X
Blodkai X
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The CoD Awards
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The CoD Awards!
By: You the Voters!
MOST HELPFUL IMMORTAL
Blodkai XXXX Phred XXXX
Edmond XXX Loril XX
Serina XX Aphrael X
Darrek X Jade X
Kali X Kattia X
Mystaric X Valanna X
Viracocha X
BEST AVATAR
Stoker XXXXX Dread XXXX
Eric XXX Stang XX
Herne XX A Million Single Votes!
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The CoD Awards
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The CoD Awards!
By: You the Voters!
BEST ROLE-PLAYER FEMALE
Iliana XX Aelrynn X
Lanfear X Juliana X
Mea X Gwyvrn X
BEST ROLE-PLAYER MALE
Chengis XXX Eric XXX
Gallant XX Vortex X
Nashid X Shingo X
CUTEST COUPLE
Cyniq and Leala XXX Mischief and Saryk XXXX
Vaile and Llaura XXX Lectral and Sapherine XX
A Million Single Votes!
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The CoD Awards
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The CoD Awards!
By: You the Voters!
FUNNIEST PLAYER
Saryk XXX Moonbeam XXX
Kali XX Zim XX
A Million Single Votes!
SEXIEST PLAYER
Iliana XXX Moonbeam XX
Kali XX Mischief XX
Syera X Serina X
A Million Single Votes!
(EDITORS NOTE: Shame on you all, heh, self votes!)
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The CoD Awards
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The CoD Awards!
By: You the Voters!
BEST WEAPON
Genesis XXXXX Oblivion XXX
Sword of Legends XX Dragon Claw of Legend XX
Lifebane XX Rod of Divinity X
BEST ARMOR
Dragonhide Breastplate XXXXX Morphs XXXX
Breastplate of Ravager XXX Demonic Influence XX
Tornado XX Golden Plate XX
Veil of Devine Wrath X
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The CoD Awards
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The CoD Awards!
By: You the Voters!
BEST RENAME
Thigh High Boots of the Guild Mistress XXXX
Fluffy White Cloud of Happiness XX
A Container named 'thin air' X
Korith's Frail Old Brain X
Delightfully Nothing X
Cloak of Iight X
Teh Weppon of Mispeeled Deth X
Mystaric's Rack X
Smurfbane X
CUTEST MOB
Pooh Bear XXX the otter in Kontaur XX
Drias panther XX Bahamut X
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The CoD Awards
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The CoD Awards!
By: You the Voters!
UGLIEST MOB
Countess Sindraod XX Froghemoth XX
Happy Death Orb X
BEST SKILL / SPELL
Astral Walk XXX Sanctuary XXX
Backstab XX Circle XX
WORST SKILL / SPELL
Detrap XX Cuff XX
Control Weather X Cook X
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The CoD Awards
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The CoD Awards!
By: You the Voters!
BEST DEATH TRAP IN THE REALMS
Ice Bridge in SoT XX
The Death Closet in Crystalmir XX
The Toilet in Shadowport XX
House of Pancakes XX
WORST DEATH TRAP IN THE REALMS
The Sandstorm XXX
Plank on Valkyrie XX
Supernova in galaxy X
BEST AREA
Scourge of Time XXXXXXX Dragon Pass X
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Cloak and Dagger
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A Meet with Abalon
By: Micala
Abalon: Fear attracts the fearful.
He is a male level 50 Human Ranger, 700 years of age.
He is a non-deadly player, and belongs to the Order Baali.
MICALA: How many years have you been a Role Player,What first
interested you in role playing?
I have played since I was a wee kid, well mainly not DnD
stuff, but was interested in role play here because I got
bored with mob kill, and saw it as an interesting way to pass
time. Thats about it, I started playing in the Humans as the
ambassador, and it went from there.
What other forums have you played in besides MUDS?
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Cloak and Dagger
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A Meet with Abalon (continued)
By: Micala
Used to play Warhammer 40 000, Ultimate marine, space hulk
stuff thats about it. Been into muds, well chat groups in
general b4 they got themed, for a long time, used to run one
based on the circle code at Uni, which is a long long time
ago. That's a mud based on the circle code, not a chatter :)
What would you say was your biggest obstacle to learning how
to RP?
Giving life to your char. There are many who use the words,
if it calls for that, but many who's chars are not believable
as real entities. So the hardest part is to make your char
seem real.
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Cloak and Dagger
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A Meet with Abalon (continued)
By: Micala
What influenced you to develop this type of character?
'cus I am evil :) Naw, I cannot find it in me to play a
goodly char, Abalon is fairly like me, a bit more deviant,
but mainly me :)
What challenges does playing an evil character present?
Well, the main challenge is that from the start you are
expected to be the looser, like tha bad guy never wins, but
I am here to change that :)
*LAUGHS* So I have seen.
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Cloak and Dagger
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A Meet with Abalon (continued)
By: Micala
Plus people are always like, you can't do that. My answer
is 'you don't get evil by being nice to people' :)
Could you briefly describe Abalon for us?..without killing
off the mystery for all those who have yet to explore him'
no :) *STARES AT THE SKY* look at the discription...
Before you stands an elder Ranger, his face is kind, but
rugged from the years that he has spent on the road. His eyes,
dark in colour, have a depth of wisdom. You can see the finely
honed body beneath his haggard clothing, and can only guess at
his skill with weapons. His hair is cropped close to his head,
though he has a full beard of some length. Although he may
look shabby, and you wonder where he got the battle scars, you
find a friendly smile buried in there somewhere.
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Cloak and Dagger
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A Meet with Abalon (continued)
By: Micala
His character is arrogant, surly, and for the most part
aggressive, tho if you know him or he respects you he will
do no aggravation :)
Aye, so we get a peek at his looks and the rest shall take us
by surprise?
Yeah, takes me by surprise too sometimes :)
What advice do you have for new players?
Yes, if you want to be evil then be evil if you want to be
good then be good, in either case, don't let people dictate
to you what to be :)'
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Cloak and Dagger
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A Meet with Abalon (continued)
By: Micala
How do you keep yourself fresh and avoid RP burn out?
I mainly try not to think of a set story when I am playing,
I normally just do what ever I feel like at the time, I have
never been one for scripted pieces and the agreement of what
the outcome is, so I play freeform... Go round anoying people,
it generally starts something *CHUCKLE*... 'dun print that :P'
(EDITORS NOTE: oops!)
Abalon throws back his head and cackles with insane glee!
Abalon climbs into your lap and cuddles up with you.
Even our evil players need a cuddle now and then. Thank you,
Abalon for taking the time to talk to Cry of Despair.
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Mud Married
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Mud Married: The Big Day
By: Kuah
So the question is asked. The answer is given. The
Realms will let you take it further. Much further.
Enter the Mayor. For a small fee of 350,000 gold coins
a marriage license can be bought. Even then, you still
have to be an AVATAR to get married. But if your lucky
enough to meet the 'future to be' while leveling then
it is just that much more time to be sure.
Believe it or not, having multiple spouses are not
'disallowed' in the realms. Even so, I found no large
harems out there in my search for couples. But if you
have such a thing going, sheeesh, let me know, that
could be the story of the year. Heh.
Anyway for a small fee of anywhere from twenty
million gold coins (ten million each ring), to fifty
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Mud Married
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Mud Married: The Big Day (continued)
By: Kuah
million gold coins (that is twenty-five million each
ring for those of you keeping score at home), you can
have rings renamed to fit your needs from a small
selection of pre-made engravings. These are done by
the gifted halfling named Blorin. His shop is above
Mayor Noran Muls office.
So we have the ring, and I'm assuming we have the
'yes!' so now we need a location. Most of the couples
I had the chance to talk with stuck with the basic
chapel in Darkhaven. And more so than not if it was not
there the waterfalls of the Realms were a favorite.
But my personal favorite wedding story was from
the couple of Vaile and Llaura. Remember them from
the last article? Well they had met and spent many
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Mud Married
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Mud Married: The Big Day (continued)
By: Kuah
hours in the garden of the asylum. Vaile even proposed
in the garden. So it was only natural to have the
wedding there as well. Thing is, according to Llaura
nothing ever goes as planned. The lag was so bad that
day that it was a chore to do anything. Top that off
with a mud crash right during the middle of the
ceremony. But things were corrected and even with a
little lag during the next attempt, all was fine by
the reception after.
I had the honor of attending many weddings while
working on this article and all of them were a great
time. Some were small but most were large and the
fun of the reception and the gift giving and just
the role-play of it all. I had fun.
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Mud Married
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Mud Married: The Big Day (continued)
By: Kuah
Honestly I had fun just running around the realms
grabbing an outfit just to wear once. We are talking
all black and dapper looking here. And for the player
in a hurry, there is the The Willoughby Wedding
Company ran by Leala. They have everything here
tuxedos, bridesmaid dresses, wedding gowns and even
a bouquet of wild flowers to throw.
I hope the future is bright for all the couples I
met in the realms. I know things can be difficult and
even troubling at times. There are times where things
can also be some of the best in your time here. That
is what I'll be talking about in the next and final
part of my Mud Marriage articles, that article will be
called, Life as a Mud-Married Player. The good, the
bad and the 'but honey...".
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Funny Bones
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To Imm or not to Imm: That is the Question
By: Elbanon
To imm, or not to imm: That is the question:
Whether tis nobler in the sight of other imms to suffer
The pains and idiocy ignorant mortals,
Or to remain one of of the very mortals i detest
And by imm'ing change them? To imm, to slay:
No more, And by slaying to say we end
the foolish blithering of no-it-all mortals
Their flesh is heir to, 'tis an escape
Devoutly to be wish'd. To imm, to slay
To slay: perchance to deny: ay theres the rub
For by becoming imm, what toils and hardships may come?
When we should step down and reenter the mortal coil,
Must give us pause: Wheres the Respect?
The makes imming worth it all
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Funny Bones
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To Imm or not to Imm: That is the Question (continued)
By: Elbanon
For those who bear the quests and work of immhood,
The mortals nagging, the higher level imm's chiding.
The pangs of balzhuring a mortal, the laws delay
The insolence of leaders and the lies
That the perient merit of the mortal takes,
When he himself might his own deity make
With bare bodkin? who would bear the toil
To grunt and sweat under a weary life
But that the dread of your work going unnoticed,
The undicover'd country from whos bourn
Many imm's have returned, puzzles the mortals
And makes us wish we had been asked to step up
And fly to the heaven with those we know not of,
Thus conscience make mortals of us all
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Funny Bones
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To Imm or not to Imm: That is the Question (continued)
By: Elbanon
And thus the native hue of immhood
Is sicklied over with the pale cast of doubt,
And moments of great glory and moment
With this regards their immhood they do thow away,
And loose the great flag of Immortal.
Idea drawn from Hamlet, William Shakespeare
Funny and Creative Titles!
Collected By: Mecil, Elbanon, Kuah
Rosario: If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
Octavia the Maggot Mistress {House Bal'laki} initate.
Braxx Sucks to be you. I know, I know.
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Funny Bones
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Funny Titles (continued)
By: Mecil, Elbanon, Kuah, Micala
Zubannlakulu Cannot Spell his Own Name.
Palanthas Is gonna disappear into the Void real soon.
Leala isn't a statnamed thief... and is proud of it :P.
Aobere. When will the icicle melt?.
Skaphia Divine is still sipping from your well.
Johann Your liver pays dearly for youthful magic moments.
Sarna is too sweet to be sour :- Trombonj says so :).
Aengil, the keeper of the sacred dirty carrot.
Gemma this title is for you Payne Stewart.
Guonroko the monkey thief.
Shinai, ignored/annoyed/depressed/miss anything?
Vallanace Need Uplift, Call !-999-Priest.
Lyrias has the attention span of a Hey! Lets go watch tv!
Tornan will astral to feed family, tips welcome.
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Funny Bones
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A Mans Guide to Female English
By: Elbanon
We need = I want
We need to talk = I need to complain
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...
It's your decision = The correct decision should be
obvious by now
Sure... go ahead = Do it and die, pal
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! and
you better notice
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it over there! NO...
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you smell funky
I need new shoes = the other 40 pairs don't match
this new outfit
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Funny Bones
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A Mans Guide to Female English (continued)
By: Elbanon
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're
really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find
a good game on T.V.
You need to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Yes = No
;No = No;
No = No;
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd
better get used to it
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this
is important
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Order, Guild, Council and Nation News
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Synposium News
By: Shingo Solstice
New members have joined and a new Administrator has taken
control over The Symposium. The new members are:
Thulkinn (At Large)
Farndaki (Guild of Mages Representative)
Geremonol (At Large)
Crevan (Guild of Vampires Representative)
Michale (Guild of Paladins Representative)
And the new Administrator is Shingo
NOTICE: Any inactives who have not yet been outcast from
The Symposium will be soon so either log on and start becoming
active, or be outcast without question. Any questions about
applying to The Symposium should be held until further notice.
Don't forget to post your ideas (all ideas, and concerns) to
the Tome of Conception (n, w from Archives) rather than ON the
Archives.
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Order, Guild, Council and Nation News
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Group News
Collected By: Alerious
Guild of Thieves News
The Guild of Thieves would like to welcome new members; Gus,
Ganteng, Lunekaan, Lamfhada, Sorral, Naelphin, Tobin, Meilana,
Inarius, Feronax, Zayin, Xanu, Gaenma, Goanily and Joanpoxi!
Congrats to Kiera for becoming the Guilds latest IT member! We
want to wish good luck to all the people currently questing
for membership.
Guild of Mages News
Our beloved Lectral has stepped down from his position as
GuildMaster. This makes Saraphin the new GuildMaster and
GarytT the new Guild First. Nominations for Guild Second were
opened on October 17th and our current nominees are: Pamalia,
Kanann, Farndaki and Nefiorim. We wish them the best of luck
and guilded mages are reminded that nominations close on October
31st so dont be late getting them in! :)
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Order, Guild, Council and Nation News
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Group News
Collected By: Alerious
Guild of Rangers News
Let the word be spread that a fine young lass by the going's
of Apollonia has been raised by her brethren to the honored
position of Guild Second. Let it be also known that Merf, the
helpful ranger has been raised to the head of the Emissary
(run) Council, but beware any who apply to the Guild, for
Fobertron has been appointed to the head of the Quest Council.
The Guild of Rangers bids warm welcome to those resting
beneath our branches of late, those who include Halanas,
Larkus, Tammi, Vanodly, Jarok and oaban. Warm wishes to
those departing the branches of the Vallenwood, fine rangers
by the names of Mossweaver, Terril and Lortz. May you find
rest and peace at the end of your journey.
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Realms of Despair
Wizlock 
Down