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Interview: Iliana DarkRaven; Hmm: Happy Fun Ball

   .oO  July  25, 1999  Oo..oO  The Cry of Despair  Oo..oO  Num. 17 Vol. 1
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  = editor ========= _| = printer =========    '    .''-.(_).-''.    '
    Mystaric              Bede                jgs .'   '  :  '   '.
  = staff =================================================================
    Allison Anaisse Apollonia Brakko        CRY2--Feature    CRY8-Funny Bones
    Conran Cyniq Dacoit Deevlit Elbanon     CRY18-G/O/C News CRY19-Quests
    Keroppi Kuah Louellin Mea Naeblis       CRY23-Announcements
    Ranstlin Romanu Thabo Tunclon Vestia    
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 -------------------- The Cry of Despair Feature Story --------------------
Interview with Iliana DarkRaven, Leader of Baali
 by Brakko Blackrose, Kuah, and Anaisse WolfsHeart
Brakko - How does it feel to be the Leader of one of the Newest,
and quickest growing Orders in RoD?
Iliana - Actually, it's very exciting.. there aren't really any
expectations of us. We have something thats really incredible to me.
I think we're more like a family than any other organization I've been
involved with on the Realms.
Anaisse - How long have you been Baali's leader?
Iliana - I'm not sure how long I've been "the" leader.. I think.. hrm..
8 months?  I was the #1 when Baali came in.. I don't feel like my
position changed at all though.. all the leaders work together and do
what we can to make the Order's just a title.
Brakko - I was told by a good source Baali apps have been changed, can
you tell aspiring Inductees how they could join the Baali?
Iliana - We've changed our application procedure to try and cut down on
the space that we use for our noteboards.  Now.. you need to have 3
of your references, along with your application.. to a member of the Childer
de Sciame, CDS :)
Anaisse - Do you have any idea how many members you have? Just an idea of
how big/small the Baali is?
Iliana - Let me check.. I don't really keep track of numbers.. I
know the people in the Order.  Approximately 50 people at the moment.
Anaisse - Do you think the orders size helps it keep a family atmosphere?
Iliana - I think so.. because for the most part, we all know
everyone else in the Order.  when someone DT's, we all know
about it.. and help to re-equip them.  We all stand together.
I think the Orders size is very instrumental in that.
Kuah - 'What is it like having Lascivias as Deity of the Order?
Iliana - Lascivias is awesome.  She does a lot of work on the
Realms as a whole.. she did a lot of changes here =P  and she
still has time to listen to the members of the Order.. to organize
quests.. and make Baali a stronger Order as a whole.  I can't imagine
how Baali would have survived without her.
Kuah - What do you see for the future of the Order?
Iliana - The future of the Order..I would like to see.. that we
keep building the camaraderie that we have.. grow as a family..
while learning together... We have a lot of things that we'd
like to accomplish.  I think that we are working towards those
goals and will achieve them eventually.
Appearing suddenly out of nowhere :) Lyrias says "Dont let her
fool you, she's the nicest person in the whoooooooole mud"
Iliana says 'durn Lyrias ;)
Brakko - We have SPIES!!!
Kuah - Anything done so far with the Order that you would of
done different or would have liked to turn out different?
Iliana - Truthfully, no. Everything that we have done has been a
learning experience.  I've never led before.. neither had Vortex.
Every mistake that we have made has taught us something. So.. we
try not to mess it up too bad.. learn from what we did mess up..
and go on from there.
Multi-playing and the sort.
Iliana - Those issues always come and go.  If you read archives
long enough, you will notice that there seems to be a cycle...
multi-ing.. disarm.. etc etc  Truthfully, what I feel has no
bearing on the matter.. I feel that multi-armies aren't necessary..
but, I also feel that most problems on the Realms come down to
common courtesy and good manners.  IE.. if you find a weapon.. look
for the owner.. offer to alternate kills.  If you treat everyone
else with respect, they'll treat you in the same way.
Kuah - Do you personaly have any goals in the Realms beyond
leadership of Baali?
Iliana - I've had momentary thoughts of Imm'ing in the past,
but at the moment, that would mean that I would have to give
up leadership of Baali.  Right now, I'm very happy with my Order
and where I am on the Realms.. so no.. not at the moment.
Anaisse - What would you say leading Baali has taught you, personally?
Iliana - Personally, it's taught me that if you trust someone to do the
right thing, 99% of the time, they will.  I have a lot of faith in people..
and a lot of faith in my Order.. and have gained more faith in myself and
Brakko - Iliana are you mudsingle? ...hey Im a reporter =P
Iliana - No.. I'm mudmarried to Valmalk :)
Brakko - (peeking out of his portal home) hrm... What do you think about
stuffing people on extradimensional portals?
Iliana - Wellllllllllll.. if they deserve it... ;)  Nah.. nobody does, a
mix of people is what makes things interesting on here ;)
Anaisse - What sort of advice would you give to someone that wishes
to be in Baali?
Iliana - hrm.. Be yourself.  I'm not impressed with eq, DTs are the
great equalizer.  when it comes down to it.. EQ can be gained or
lost.. knowledge can be learned.  It comes down to the person behind
the character.. thats what I'm interested in.  Different people from
different places.. with different personalities makes things interesting :)
Kuah - Back to the Order, under the leaders is there a caste system?
You mentioned the CDS, talk about the organization(s) of the Order as a whole.
Iliana - We do have a bit of a caste system, yes.  We have some different
groups in Baali, with different responsibilities.  IE. the Childer de
Sciame, they are our Induction Team.  although they have fancy names,
they really aren't that different from the other members of the Order..
they just have different responsibilities.
Brakko - How does you order relate to RP events? Is it Active in them?
How do you feel about this?
Iliana - We have members in the Order who are pretty much strictly
RP'ers.. and we have some, such as myself, who dabble and are still
learning to.  As a whole though, I would say that we are a mix of
both worlds.  If someone organizes a RP event, the rest of us will
be behind them to support them.
Anaisse - Any words of wisdom for us Iliana?
Iliana - Have fun :)  It's a game. People often take this.. and
themselves and their role on here too seriously.  If this all
disappeared tomorrow.. or.. that pwipe rumor got started again..
would it change how you played and who you associated with?
I think that I would still have the same friends that I do now.
At this point Lyrias steps out of an oppressive mist, and when
asked for a quote...replied "Nicest girl you'll ever meet..=)"
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Funnies Submitted by you!!
*During a conversation about horseback riding over ordertalk*
     Allanon ordertalks 'daishan=donkey allanon=thoroughbred'
     Daishan ordertalks 'You can mount me anytime Qenaralin :P'
     Gouda ordertalks 'ROFL, I think that may be a keeper Dai, 
         maybe a cry submission as well :P'
     Qenaralin ordertalks 'If you post that up..soon all the men will
         be hitting on Dai too!'
     Qenaralin ordertalks 'then he'll have no time for us women anymore ;)'
     Gouda ordertalks 'Maybe when hell freezes over Qen :P'
     Daishan ordertalks 'and umm.. don't submit that.. Issy will kill me :P'
from Nitsuj
(Immortal) Dria: the further away you push me, the more dangerous I
    become is here before you.
A panther of the deepest black lies nearby, considering your presence here.
Shylore shimmers beneath an aura of dark energy.
Dria gently pets Shylore.
Shylore purrs contentedly in Dria's lap.
Shylore says 'I love to be pet.'
You gently pet Shylore.
Shylore says 'I would prefer it if you not pet me, Elbanon.'
Shylore bares his teeth and growls at you.
Dria points at you accusingly.
Shylore says 'You were wrong to displease my mistress so Elbanon!'
Shylore ROARS with a ferocity that shakes the earth!
Shylore slays you in cold blood!
..Everything begins to fade to black.
It isnt enough that Dria can slay me ... she has to make a mob that can do 
for her. :p
Dear Avvie,
I am a restless individual. I have fifteen characters,
but I get frustrated when I can't play them all
at the same time. Every time I log more than eight of
them on, that awful Happy Fun Ball comes by and kills
them all and then I have to go and do multiple
corpse retrievals. What am I to do?
Signed, Multiple Personalities
Dear Mulcher,
Well, Happy Fun Ball is sort of hard-coded into the mud.
But then again, so is your addiction to playing with
multiple characters. Fifteen characters means you've
spent a lot of time out of the sun. I suggest
replacement therapy. Get a big beach ball and a magic
marker and write "Happy Fun Ball" on the beach ball.
Go to your closest beach and begin batting the ball
around. Kick it. Slap it. Sneer at it. Doesn't that feel
good? Then get out a big old Bowie knife and plunge it
deep into the black heart of your Happy Fun Ball,
screaming, "Die, killer of joy! Die!" When the ball has
deflated, look up to see the expressions of the people
around you. If that doesn't make you think you've done
something wrong, I suggest getting a lifetime subscription
Monitor: Marianne summoned townguard guard to room 2733.
to your local pizza joint, a tanker truck full of your
favorite cola beverage, and mudding 24 hours a day.
You'll enjoy life more, and so will your friends, family, and
epecially your neighbours.
Signed, Avvie the Avatar
Funny Titles
Zistrosk is AFK cleaning the closet... send TELLS. Guild of Druids
Pamalia rains on your parade. . Guild of Mages
Mordrith Water your Cleric twice a day.
Kaiowas taunted Happy Death Orb and lived Scout. (Order of Arcanes)
Jezabyliayzy kills all know germs .... dead !.
Jeamokol rips out your stomach.  Thank you.
Aeriel rampages about the Realms in a very merry manner.. Guild of Rangers 
Grendimix has been getting better, and still sux. Guild of Thieves
Jacalynn is rentable, aquire within.
Kuahs Friends
  Ahh its the Month of the Spring, and nothing beats the
thin beams of the sun through the trees in the small
gnome village east of fair Darkhaven. It is here I plan
to talk to and share with you the words of some of the
wisest gnomes in the Realms.... (continued on next page)...
 A walk through the happy twisting streets of this small
wonderful village suddenly turns bleak and tragic as I
notice torn-out hearts, limbs and complete corpses all 
swimming in pools of spilled blood. 
  With such awful carnage I notice a gnome man approach.
I was about to comfort him and try and help him with 
the shock. To my suprise, he was rather happy and even
shook my hand and smiled. Then I noticed gnmoish children
skipping rocks and bouncing around with joy in the
  Something strange was going on here, and I would get
to the bottom of it. I noticed some breaks in the 
trees. I also heard the chatter of a gnome scientist
as he talked to his assistant. 
"Ah yes, that has to be it." he said.
  "Excuse me, what are you working on kind sir?" I asked.
  The gnome smiled and continued looking over his notes
without looking at me. His assistant nearly dropped a 
beaker he was holding and made a soft spoken wished for 
extra limbs.
  As I stood there wondering If I had been ignored, the
scientist answered, "Alignment."
 "Fixing alignment, that is what I am working on. The
butchers from Darkhaven come here to slaughter us in
anger because they are trying to fix this 'alignment'
problem they have. We are killed by the hundreds each
day. But we will solve this alignment thing, and thus
'fix' it for the butchers of Darkhaven."
  His assistant smiled and said, "They would stop the
killing then."
  The scientist patted his assistant on the back.
He smiled and said,  "Thats the goal we seek for our
great and wise leader, it is wha...
Torkorin floats in from the south.
Torkorin's pierce decimates a scientist!
A scientist is DEAD!!
A scientist's heart is torn from his chest.
An assistant leaves east.
Torkorin floats east.
You hear something's death cry.
Sigh.. I hope some of the scientist made it out alive.
And I hope they continue to help the blood thirsty 
butchers of darkhaven, by trying to 'fix alignment'.
I know they will someday, because those gnomes can
fix anything.
Kuah Cha'Din

This is during a battle between clans
(Tremere)Xaanaly wars 'dammit, what the hell do you people expect me to do?'
Xaanaly wars 'fight alongside cafezaki?'
This is my bit of humor ....
After we tormented Kali for about 20 minutes the following took place...
Onyx: Kali, Tobie told me that she's fixing to do some *serious* Kali cuddlin
Tobie: Dad!!
Onyx: kill her before it's too late :P
Ajax: yeah kali, you should delete DS
Barabbas: hm
Amoria giggles at you.  Hope it's not contagious!
Tobie: *gasps*
Ajax: they have too much time on they hands
Amoria nods in agreement to Onyx.
Kali: yeah, DS defnitely has too much time
Tobie: My own mud dad wants me dead!!
Amoria says 'Me too dammit'
Ajax: delete them and their little dogs too
Onyx: Yeah, we do time runs all the time :P
Ajax: only when you get into the prune juice

Amoria says 'Poor Kali needs lots and lots of snuggles'
Kali invokes Emerald!
Kali invokes Emerald!
Kali invokes Emerald!
Kali invokes Emerald!
Kali invokes Emerald!
Amoria rolls on the floor laughing hysterically.
Onyx quaffs a sanctuary potion.
A luminous aura spreads slowly over Onyx's body.
Exits: north.
The corpse of Amoria is buzzing with flies.
The corpse of Amoria is lying here. (3)
The corpse of Onyx is lying here.
The corpse of Tobie is lying here.
(Translucent) (Red Aura) Lanowar Halcyon on and on and on and on and on and O
(Red Aura) Amoria Taltos is hovering here.
(Invis) Onyx Taltos [Jhereg]   [IC] is hovering here.
Onyx is shrouded in flowing shadow and light.
(Red Aura) Queen of the Sea, Emerald has stopped by to pay her Grandfather tr
Emerald shimmers beneath an aura of dark energy.
Emerald is engulfed within a blaze of mystical flame.
Emerald is surrounded by cascading torrents of energy.
Emerald is ensphered by shards of glistening ice.
X's 5!!!
Onyx fades into existence.
Onyx's backstab nicks Emerald!
Emerald's tendril of lightning brushes Onyx.
Emerald's shield of flame scratches Onyx.
Emerald's hail of ice scratches Onyx.
Onyx's pierce scratches Emerald.
Emerald's hail of ice nicks Amoria!
Emerald utters the words, 'gas breath'.
Emerald's blast of gas DESTROYS Lanowar!
Emerald's blast of gas MASSACRES Amoria!
Emerald's blast of gas _traumatizes_ Onyx!
Emerald's blast of gas DESTROYS you!
..Everything begins to fade to black.
You feel yourself leaving your body... rising up into the air, you feel
more free than you have ever felt before...

Kali: I figure 5 Emeralds should keep them busy
Brane: laff
Ajax: rofl
Onyx: nodnod, they all keep dying though :P
Lanowar: sweet
Lanowar: nuff strands to go around
Ajax: twiddle
Lanowar: lemme log 
Ajax: minvoked ones dun have strands
Kali: Too late
Someone: too much blood in my office now :P
Someone: I'm slipping on the grass :P
Ajax: that'll teach you to mudsex and snuggle kali at the same time
Krystiana leaves down.
Herne: Eew
Amoria: Kali loves us.
...I felt you all deserved the full story :)
Thanks for reading!!
***Tobie L. Moonbeam***

G/O/C News
GoP news
The Guild of Paladins welcomes Krokken to its ranks, and announces to 
all members that Trachion now dispenses crucifixes at recall when he
is logged.  A new vending machine function may be added soon!
Baali News
The Order of Baali is proud to anounce that applications are open
once more, you can look at help baali_apps for more info.
Quest Central
Congratulations to the following people for wining in the Riddle Quest
Akael - 10
Zalasta - 12
Trystlow - 19 + bonus for having the most correct
Jacalynnc - 14
Beccalyzie - 13
Tromble - 2
Reinso - 8
Tangarth - 6
Tonmllkan - 6  
Alendil - 2
Lansu - 12
Gaard - 16
All prizes will be given out all winners please look for a note in your
inventory stating your prize was given.

Answers Riddle Quest
1)He asked: Which way to your village? Remember he needs to go to the
truth tellers. If the man is telling the truth he will direct him in
the right direction. If the man is telling a lie he will direct him in 
the right direction. Either way, he knows which way to go.
-- Variations that still worked were accepted.
2)There are only four errors in the sentence, but the fifth error is
that the sentence itself is incorrect, so there are five errors in the
sentence. However, if there are five errors in the sentence, then the
fifth error is now eliminated, making the statement false again. Thus 
the statement is a paradox, which is neither true nor false.
-- This had to be answered exactly or dang close.
3)1. Yes. All guests move into the room whose number is one greater 
than their >original number (n+1). 
2. Yes. House the first group in the even-numbered rooms, and the 
second group in the odd-numbered rooms...
-- These had to be at least close ... "Because their are infinite rooms
isnt a reason .. thats stated in the problem :p
4)In those days they couldn't have known when Christ would be born, so 
there couldn't be coins with that inscription.
--This also had to be close.
5)This is a paradox; it is true and false at the same time.
--On this one you had to realize it was a paradox or at least realize it was
true and false at same time.
6)I am being hanged!... If you hang me now, you are breaking the rule, 
because then my statement is true and I should be beheaded. But if you 
decapitate me, you are also breaking the rule, because what I said was
not true and you should hang me.
--This needed to be close to "I am being hanged" - This statement is false wont
cut it :p
7)The man didnt have a navel (bellybutton).
--Had to be exact.
8)"The princess is behind the door which will open if I tell the 
--Had to be close or at least seem plausible (and that i could easily 
understand it :p)
9)The key: get your fast guys over first, so that one of them can come
back with the flashlight after your slow people cross. 
2 and 1 cross the path    ( 2 minutes)
1 comes back.             ( 3 minutes)
10 and 5 cross the path.  (13 minutes)
2 comes back              (15 minutes)
1 and 2 cross the path    (17 minutes)
--This one had to be explained as shown. OR - had to be explained how
the -all- the men reached the other side *IN 17 minutes* not 16 or 10.
10)1. We would have to say that both could not exist in the same 
universe because if there was an unstoppable force then, by the 
definition of 'unstoppable', there could not be an immovable object, 
and vice versa.
--This had to be extremely close ... (and yes some did get it correct).
The force cant pass through the object and it cant flow around it, 
and incedently unmovable infers unbreakable/invincible (meaning it 
cant punch a hole into it)
Judgement is final btw ... no tells unless you feel you can explain your 
answer in a way that conforms to the explanation given after each answer.
  O                                              o
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o   oo  o o-o o--o o  o  o-o o-o o o o o-o o  o  o  o-o
The CoD has a public board for you to post suggestions and
ideas for the paper. The board is located in our New Front Office
which is located e,s,u,u,s,w,s from dh[].
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TO: CoD writers
The horoscopes are way too optimistic, you might let some people
down. Tsk tsk.
-Turalyon the tunafishy.
The CoD has a public board for you to post suggestions and
ideas for thepaper. The board is located in our New Front Office 
which is located e,s,u,u,s,w,s from dh[].
The public board in Town Hall for the CoD is for *only* things pertaining
to the paper. It isn't for people wishing to contact immortals. Or for
people who want to apply to organizations such as guilds/orders.
Try to keep things posted on the public CoD board to articles, 
stories, humor, or anything else that might have something to do
with the paper.
Thank you, 
The Staff of the CoD.

Say, you! Yes, you, sitting there with your dagger
dripping with the blood of some unlucky mob!
Sure, you can kill these things for fun and profit,
but deep down you want something more meaningful.
You want to show the Realms your stuff, that you're
not just another roseate ring-headed killer.
But how do you stand away from the crowd?
How do you distinguish yourself?
It's simple! Write for the CoD! Your words will
be immortalized for all time! Your name will resound
throughout the land! You'll get long hours
and the occasional pizza slice!
If you are in the following organizations:
       DS, RB, RNF, GoV, GoW 
Send mudmail to Mystaric with your application!
Do it now, or we'll sic the Chadoyn on you. Grrr.
In your application please use the following format.
Why you want to join the paper staff.
What you feel you can do to make the paper better.
A brief sample of your writing using one of the following topics.
1. Informative - report on an event or happening in the realms
2. Creative story - Short piece of fiction.
3. Humor - Comical review or witty story.
4. Design - Sampling of your ASCII art.
Applications will be accepted for one week only.
Editor - Cry of Despair
THANKS for reading the Cry of Despair!