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Interview: Kinux; Newbie Guide to Player Killing; Realms of Despair 101

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      issue 54 . 12/01 .     news of the realms and its people
  Maray, Indalecio, Kuah, Begaria, Naithalia, Ilsensine, Noplex,
  Conran, Sarig, Myra, Jaryl, Shingo, Lieth, Vladith, Gabac,
  Juliana, Tinani, Mauro, Kyrstal, Silverwind, Azkrakare
  Guest Editor: Khaimran   Immortal: Elisabet
  Cry Of Despair - Contents

  Desk of the Editor
  Khaimran steps into the breach.
  Kinux Interview
  Maray interrogates the latest Neophyte.

  Guild HQ Changes
  Kyrstal marauds Darkhaven... and she wants answers!

  Realms of Despair 101
  A new article for the perplexed, courtesy of Juliana.

  Dear Myra & Ilsensine
  Not for the faint of heart.

  Newbie's Guide to...
  Conran presents his thoughts on PKilling.

  Happy Birthday Ascendere!

  Post-dementia Ilsensine?

  Funny Bones

  News from the Elf Nation, Horrorshow + more!

  Literary Corner
  Vampires, lizards, and the ever unfortunate Pelmen.


  Desk of the (Guest) Editor - by Khaimran

  I think its quite a bit of praise in itself, when you look
  at the fact that the Cry of Despair is still looking for a
  full time editor, three issues after Kuah stepped down.
  And now, perhaps, I can see why. More work goes into this
  paper than I ever imagined, even while on the staff. 
  So, hail to the almighty Kuah *winks*. Having said that,
  the paper has grown tremendously in the past few weeks.
  I've lost count of how many new members we have, but you
  can see for yourself by looking at the front cover. And it
  shows in the whole paper, too. Part of the reason for the
  huge workload involved in editing this issue, is the size
  of it. Not only do we have two features this issue, its
  also the longest and best issue that I've seen to date.
   Well, I'll leave you to decide for yourself. Enjoy.
     - Khaimran Quena Tar'Yenea

  Kinux Interview - by Maray

  Yep, they're multiplying like rabbits. Here's the latest 
  imm, Kinux. As always, one of our intrepid reporters was on 
  hand to badger the poor Neophyte asap! Take it away, 
  Maray... - Ed.

  Maray> Alrightie then... How are you finding 
  immortality so far? I know it's only been a few days, 
  Kinux grins.
  Kinux> Hours more like :) So far, it's more then I 
  Maray> How so?
  Kinux> Incredible people, amazing new things to learn, 
  and many many notes to read :) I had a great rapport with 
  many imms while GM. When I imm'd though, I truly felt
  welcomed by everyone.
  Maray> How do you think being an immortal has changed 
  your view of the game?

  Kinux> Well, time will certainly add to that answer. I 
  do find even now that I'm seeing things on a more broad 
  basis, not so tied to a particular guild, or channel. The 
  realms has an incredible depth of activities, all of which 
  I get to now be more in tune with.
  Maray> Speaking of guilds, how has GoT reacted to your 
  Kinux> Very well. It's an excellent organization with 
  tremendous people. They were all a little stunned at first, 
  but quickly rallied around the other leaders with their 
  support. All were very happy for me :) Besides, the guild 
  bot Abelard really runs the place... If he's online.. the 
  world is good.
  Kinux smiles happily.

  Maray> How do you think being GM prepared you for all 
  that, if at   all?
  Kinux> I was fortunate to be in leadership in GoT for 
  around 20   months. Quite a while by guild standards. Being 
  GM allowed me to interact a great deal with all the other 
  guilds through TS, IGQC, and the like, but it also gave me 
  quite a few other tools. I have a great appreciation for 
  the new learner, as we got many newbie thieves. Being 
  GM is being able to balance many personalities to work 
  together for a common goal. The quests, run organization, 
  and the like also is directly translated into my future 
  jobs. Of course, there was also the copious notes I had to 
  write too :)

  Maray> What do you hope to accomplish in your time as 
  an imm?'
  Kinux> I hope to expand my knowledge of the realms. To 
  work towards carrying on the incredible work that the Imms 
  here do, through their quests, building and admin duties. I 
  hope to leave my mark, whatever that may be. The future 
  will tell... :)

  Maray> Any changes you would like to see made?'
  Kinux> Changes... Well, that's a tough question. In TS 
  we proposed many new changes, many of which we hoped to see
  come up in the new port. We'll see what comes of that and 
  then perhaps I can answer that question better.
  Maray> What did you consider before deciding to go 
  for imm-ship?
  Kinux> I considered 3 main things. What would happen to 
  GoT if I left, ie. Was there leadership in place to do the 
  job? Could I do the job of immortal? Would I regret the 
  decision I have made? I talked to many Imms about their 
  experiences and it helped a lot.

  Maray> Finally, anything you'd like to add? :)
  Kinux> I'd like to say thanks to all those I've worked 
  with in the past through the various guilds that I've been 
  involved with. To the guild members of GoT who helped teach 
  me how to play the game years ago, and to the immortals of 
  the realms for believing I could make a difference and 
  bringing me on board. :)
  So there you have it, ladies and gentleman, your newest 
  immortal: Kinux!
  - Maray Fyremusik-Darkraven

  Guild HQ Changes - by Kyrstal

  Word on the street is that the guilds of Darkhaven are     
  getting a makeover. This reporter went to work to get the  
  scoop for our readers. I had the pleasure of speaking with  
  Ceirana, the advisor to the guilds, and here is what         
  she had to say.  - Kyrstal Ravenyze                          
  Kyrstal> Can you tell me a little about the changes 
  that the guilds are going through?
  Ceirana> I think was about a year ago the guilds were 
  invited to redo their headquarters. Many were completely
  rewritten while others opted to just change or add a few 
  things. There are no plans to move the guilds outside of 
  the town walls until such time that we can ensure they 
  will be protected from the evils that lie beyond Darkhaven.
  Kyrstal> Are the guilds being allowed any additional 
  items or features?

  Ceirana> Yes, for example... most guilds have sent 
  their guild chef off to cooking school this past year of 
  the Dragon, and these master chefs have collaborated in 
  creating some amazing delicacies. 
  Kyrstal> Can you tell us about the additional features 
  that the guilds were given?
  Ceirana> Visil had been getting a tad stressed over the
  extra duties he had repairing for all the guilds, so he 
  lined up some talented blacksmiths to ease the burden. Many
  guilds were having difficulties recording, maintaining, and 
  sorting all their important information. So a way was 
  discovered to alleviate some of piles of paper left lying 
  about each guild. In addition, a special magic was woven 
  into the donation rooms of the guilds, that would provide a 
  safe way to store ethereal potions and the like.

  Kyrstal> Will the current donation rooms save over to 
  the new donation rooms?
  Ceirana> The magic has always been strong within the 
  donation rooms. The gods are benefic.

  Kyrstal> And lastly, when is the projected
  implementation date for the new guild headquarters?
  Ceirana> When it has come to fruition.

  After speaking with Ceirana, I hit the streets of Darkhaven
  to pay a visit to the Guilds. I spoke with leaders or the 
  person in charge of the rebuilds. Here's what they had to 
  Kyrstal> Is your guild getting any changes? If so is it
  a complete rewrite or just a few changes?
  Kellandra, GoC: Only thing kept the same might be a few 
  storekeeper names, everything else is a total rewrite.

  Korith, GoD: We have kept to the theme of adding on the
  additional rooms and keeping the main core of the guild 
  as it always has been. In this way we preserve memories and
  the history of our guild.

  Meade, GoM: Pretty much a complete rewrite.

  Racin, GoR: We just requested a few changes, which as 
  far as I know have been approved.

  Kinux, GoT: We are getting changes and an addition. We
  chose to keep the main portion of the guild due to its 
  historical significance. We're quite a sentimental group.

  Garrund, GoV: A complete rewrite. The guild will still 
  keeps it's ankh shape in the mansion, but the layout is 
  quite different.

  Ilena, GoW: We made some changes.

  Mecil, GoP: It's a complete re-write.

  Destre, GoN: The basic layout remains the same.

  Bravadan, GoA: The guild has a few little changes.
  Kyrstal> Any hints as to what is new?
  Kellandra, GoC: We have some serious fun with Gnomes 
  and a very weepy ghost to deal with in the new HQ. 

  Korith, GoD: Communing with the oak has been cleared 
  away, and more room created for us to enjoy nature more. A 
  friend has to come the guild, offering a home for our 
  animal friends as well. 

  Meade, GoM: Well, the general theme is a floating tower
  above Darkhaven and we have a pet cat Chubby.

  Racin, GoR: Well we made a few equipment and room 
  changes, I do not want to get into detail as only the GoR 
  leaders and the Imms have been told what they are at this 
  point. We took suggestions from our members but never 
  actually told them what all we did. We want them to enjoy 
  the chance to explore our new additions.

  Kinux, GoT: It was rumored that a band of thieves one 
  day found a tunnel leading away from recall to a secret 
  spot outside of DH. It was thought to have been part of
  Duke Luthers get away plan at one time.. but long 
  forgotten. We are getting a new repair mob, a grandson of
  our founding member.

  Garrund, GoV: We will have a blood fountain in the 
  recruit room, a potion container in donations, and a steam
  room.. yes vampires need to relax too. We have taken steps
  to ensure that our wallets are safe from the pick-pockets 
  that lurk on the steps of the mansion. We also have a 
  memorial for our fallen brother.

  Ilena, GoW: We will have a new brewing room for the 
  guild and a portal room for the kinship, also a waiting
  room for people or questors.

  Mecil, GoP: We have built it as a stronghold with 
  various buildings connected by a courtyard that is our new
  recall point. It will be fun with lots of spammy food and
  maybe even a visitors area for the rest of Realms to 
  sample our fine ale and superb coffee. Mostly I have opted
  for detail in descriptions, adding bits of guild history 
  and runs into statues and paintings, so that it gets a 
  feel that I believe castles should have.

  Destre, GoN: The addition of the new poison fountain. 
  Ceirana is doing the coding for us and assuming it works, 
  it will poison you if you drink from it. 

  Bravadan, GoA: Not any secrets really, just things like
  a new run board, run room, magic container, and changed the
  repop message. The magic container will hold potions, 
  staffs or anything that casts magic in the donations room. 
  The run room will be a place that we can get together and 
  post notes about runs times and tricks on how to do them.

  Kyrstal> Anything else you'd like to say for the Cry?
  Korith, GoD: The main building of our new guildhall was
  done by myself, Shingo, and Mikado. Many of our guild 
  members, contributed alot of time and fantastic ideas 
  towards our new guildhall as well. The new guildhall has 
  many new and fun things, but what those will be, the rest 
  of realms will have to wait and see.

  Meade, GoM: Well, it was fun working on the new guild,
  Formaki, Pamalia, Riley, Saraoreo, and Thalasian all did a 
  lot of work, and Ceirana, Edmond, and Hoerkin were very
  helpful as well.

  Racin, GoR: Just to thank Hoerkin, Edmond, and Ceirana
  for putting up with all the changes and for getting the OK
  to rework all the guild HQs. 

  Garrund, GoV: Thanks to all the immortals involved 
  that allowed and are making these changes possible.

  Ilena, GoW: Well that I am pleased that we have had 
  the chance to make changes in the guild. Thanks to 
  Dargolith for all his work and others like Chantria, 
  Simone, Ilena, and Stevenson.

  Mecil, GoP: You will have to wait for the port to 
  see the rest.
  By: Kyrstal Ravenyze

  Realms of Despair 101 - by Juliana

  Realms of Despair 101 - Introduction

   "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
    Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

  It's fascinating to watch how lessons are taught on RoD. 
  People learn what to do and what not to do by picking up 
  specifics. They go on a Froghemoth run. They run Father 
  Time. Run leaders show them how to get to that mob, and 
  what the precise killing strategy is. To stretch the
  metaphor, they fish in front of the man and give the fish
  to him. Over and over until, maybe, hopefully, one day, he
  figures out how to make his own rod and fish for himself.

  So I thought, why not cut to the chase and share the real 
  general strategies of playing Realms of Despair? I won't
  teach you how to run seth or map the chaos maze (or 
  anything else specific), but in this column and future 
  articles, I'm going to write How-Tos about some of the 
  most popular RoD activities. 

  Armed with the basics, you can actually go out and
  experiment and discover and learn for yourself. Through 
  your -own- effort. Appreciate the mobs and areas people
  have built, instead of sitting back and waiting for someone
  to write a walkthrough for you.
  -Someone- had to figure out how to run a new mob before 
  info could be passed around, right? Why not -be- that 

  My Philosophy in Writing This Column
  Absolutely no spoonfeeding. I might teach you running and 
  mapping theory, but when push comes to shove, you will have
  to apply them in practice yourself and make your own 
  conclusions. I want to inspire a sense of exploration and
  daring, rather than contribute to the apathetic expectation
  that someone else must tell you the answer.

  Comments are Welcome
  Feel free to mudmail me. Praises will be read, flames
  ignored, suggestions appreciated. :) Anything you think 
  would be a good topic for me to discuss?
  Not-so-Standard Disclaimer
  Most of what I plan to write is common sense that most
  regular players have picked up already (but hopefully is 
  still useful to beginners). Lord knows I coulda used such a 
  summary sheet while a newbie. The rest is either gleaned 
  from the public smaug 1.4 code (which you can go scrutinize
  too, btw) or based on personal experience. 
  In other words, I could be wrong! Always take what other
  people say with a big grain of salt, and decide for 
  yourself what to believe.

  RoD 101 - Mob Killing

  Scenario 1: You're a newbietar. Your eq consists of 9 
  parts levelling eq and 1 part av eq from your guild's 
  donation. You want to run some mobs to equip yourself, but
  you haven't the faintest idea which will smite you and 
  which are reasonable to attempt.
  Scenario 2: You're a player with quite a few classes of 
  avatars. Especially the standard running classes like 
  thief, vampire, mage, warrior, cleric, etc. You want to run
  a mob that's considered a step up in difficulty from what 
  you normally run. Just how do you go about having a 
  successful run?

  Gathering Run Information
  First things first, you need specific run information about
  the mob. How to get to the mob and how to kill the mob. 
  What the mob doesn't like, and what the effective skills/
  spells are. How to find this stuff out?
  1) Ask a Trustworthy Friend
  This is the easiest option. People in RoD are naturally a
  little reticient about their hard earned secrets. You can't
  spam the hell out of strangers and expect to be spoonfed 
  with freebies. A friend will probably share his run secrets
  if he knows you're not going to broadcast them to all and 
  sundry. You want a friend who knows what he's doing, or 
  you'll be operating on bad run info, which is worse than 
  going in with no knowledge whatsoever. How to make friends? 
  Being nice, honest, ethical and honorable and joining an
  organization might help. Hopefully you've made some before
  you go asking them for run info, or you'll come off 
  sounding like a moocher.

  2) Surf the Net, Look for Websites
  Maybe you're the independent type. Maybe you think you're 
  going to stretch friendship more than a little by hounding 
  your associates for too much info. Since you are mudding, 
  you do have an internet connection. Run a google search and
  see what pops up. Area directions are plentiful. Various 
  guilds and individuals have webpages that supply some 
  information on running simple mobs.
  3) Firsthand Experience
  This is, by nature, a little more advanced than the above 
  two options. This is the -real- method of how the
  professionals figure out how to kill new mobs no one has 
  ever seen before. They walk up to the mob, hit the mob, and 
  watch how the battle goes. They figure out what works 
  through trial and error, and what to avoid doing. After
  creating a running strategy, they test it out. If the mob 
  dies consistently, success! If not, revision time.

  Figuring Out What Works 
  (And What Results in a Bloody Splotch That Used to be Your
  Running Char)
  Ask ten different RPers what they consider roleplay to be, 
  and you'll get ten different answers. Ask ten different 
  runners how they judge mobs, and you'll get ten different 
  answers too. Everyone develops their own personal style of
  analyzing mobs. There are, however, some basic principles 
  that will make your life easier while you try things out 
  for yourself. Here are but a few of them:

  1) A Good, Readable Prompt and Fprompt
  If you can read your own prompt fast and easily, you'll be
  able to figure out how much damage you're receiving, and 
  whether the mob is hurt, healed or not bothered at all by 
  your attacks.

  Readable is going to differ tremendously from person to 
  person. About 9 in every 10 people loathe my prompt, but 
  it works for me. :) And that's the criteria to live by. 
  Hence, why I suggest anyone seriously playing this mud
  should take time to read the helpfiles for pcolors and 
  prompt, and design your own according to the information 
  you feel you're going to need. Prompt preferences differ, 
  but if you're going to be trying out mobs, you'll need at
  the very very least Current HP, Max HP, and the Current 
  Health of Opponent. I heartily recommend more, though.
  Current HP is obvious, you need to know when you're about
  to expire and when you're only being scratched. Some people 
  go without Max HP...since the starting prompts don't 
  include it. *Beep* Wrong idea. When being intensely pounded 
  on, the chances of you remembering how many heals to quaff 
  to reach your max hp are very slim. It'll slow you down, 
  even if you manage it. It's also clearer to think in terms 
  of proportions. Are you only half or two-thirds hurt at 

  Current Opponent Health in your fprompt is a godsend. You 
  no longer have to glance/look at the mob to check. You can 
  keep track of the rate of healing and damage the mob is 
  taking as the rounds go by.
  2) Always Be Praised or Higher in Favor
  Shit happens. Your test goes awry. You die accidentally, 
  none of your friends are around to help you kill the aggro 
  mob looming over your dead body. Maybe they don't know how 
  to. Everyone on public channels is being really cruel and 
  won't help you CR. Maybe they don't know how to either. 
  What you previously thought was a non-aggro mob can't stand
  the sight of you walking back in the room, even past 
  quitting and relogging. No immortals are online, or you 
  don't want to pay for an imm CR. Well, that's what 
  supplicate corpse is for. A minimum level of praised is 

  As an addenum to this, if you're testing out high 
  difficulty mobs, check beforehand to make sure the room 
  isn't no-supp. Common gossip will suggest the likely 
  no-supp areas/rooms. Personally making sure would be to try 
  out supp recall in the actual room, and hope you don't see 
  "You have been forsaken!". You don't want to be taken aback
  when you see the no-supp message, "The image of your corpse
  appears, but suddenly wavers away."
  If there's a likelihood of it being a no-supp room, common 
  sense suggests you shouldn't be wearing your best eq to
  test it out. You might not be able to strip naked and last 
  long enough against the mob to try, but use eq you can 
  afford to lose. 

  3) Sanc is for Wussies!
  But you'll be a living wussy. Always sanc. This is the 
  common refrain of pkillers, and it applies when you're just
  about to fight mobs also. Sanc cuts all damage in half, 
  even the breaths and sneaky mpdamages. It keeps your 
  equipment from breaking just that little bit longer. When 
  testing a mob whose capabilities you don't know, you want 
  all the advantages you can get.
  4) Use a Disposable Weapon
  A good number of mobs are programmed to disarm you and do 
  fairly innovative (and nasty) things to your weapons. When 
  going up against an unknown mob, it's sensible to use a 
  weapon you can afford to lose, while you determine if the 
  mob is immune to any particular weapon type, immune circle/
  grasp/offensive spells or if it requires nonmagic/magic 
  weapons to be killed.

  5) Try Out Different Weapons
  If one type of weapon -always- and -consistently- misses 
  the mob, chances are good it's probably immune to that 
  weapon type. As of smaug 1.4, mobs can be be immune to 
  blunt, pierce and slash. Slash also includes slices, whips 
  and claws. Pierce includes stabs, bites, arrows, bolts and
  darts. Blunt includes pounds, crushes, stones and peas.
  However, the mob is more likely to be immune magic/
  nonmagic. If identifying the mob produces "That appears to
  have no effect", then it is immune magic, and thus, magic
  weapons. Another way to tell is to swap magic/nonmagic 
  weapons of the same type in combat when one keeps missing 
  in both regular hitting and circling. Practice makes 
  perfect when eyeballing a mob and deciding what it's 
  immune to. So go practise! That one mob you're always 
  dying to try is waiting.

  That's all we have for now. :) In next month's issue, more 
  tips on how to understand and try out an unknown mob. We'll
  go in depth into the various mage and cleric protection 
  spells that make your mobkilling life easier, as well as
  some commonly used skills. 
  Ever wonder what helps a stun land successfully? Find out 
  next month, or better yet, get inspired to find out for 
  yourself first!

  - Juliana Shadowfyre

  Dear Myra & Ilsensine - Nuts

  Dear Myra and Ilsensine,
  I have a wee bit of a dilemma. I haven't had an official 
  Bris on the mud yet, and I need two things.  First off, 
  I need someone to perform my bris. Who this is doesn't
  matter, as long as they certified. Secondly, I need to know
  how to have a ceremony of this kind without major 
  embarassment when you are pushing 1300 years old. My skin 
  is flaky, the fore part of it especially.  Any help is 

  Dear Nuts,
  Why you are considering this NOW is beyond me, but I will 
  try my best to offer good advice.  Noting that you used the
  phrase "as long as they are certified," I can only conclude
  that you are not completely familiar with this procedure in
  its original celebration.  As a quick history lesson, a 
  Bris is generally a Jewish celebration and is conducted by 
  a "Moile."  This person may or may not be a Rabbi, but is 
  most certainly "certified."  Now given the religious 
  climate of Realms, I would say that your chances of finding
  anyone Jewish, much less a Moile would be slim to none.  
  Having said that, I'm afraid I must now address the latter
  half of your dilemma. As a 1300 year old pixie I would 
  think that your flaky problems would be the least of your 
  worries.  And, thus, I think I will leave my comments at 
  that. In conclusion, my advice is to dis the Bris and find 
  a better pasttime. Besides, I hear the ladies prefer 

  Dear Nuts,
  Or should that be... Dear God??! What on earth do you think
  you are playing at sending such pointless pifflery to me? 
  As always... I shall respond to the undeserving nonsense 
  that piles through my little letter box.
  I shall answer this with an apt saying I heard once on my 
  "A man who must ask where the bathroom is, deserves wet 

  Dear Myra and Ilsensine,
  I am hoping you can help keep from being utterly lonely 
  this holiday season.  You see, I am always the "other 
  woman" and well, I'm tired of being the one left out.  
  While my "men" are off with their mudwives and mudchildren, 
  I am left all alone.  I've spent too many Christmas Eves 
  alone and I need advice.
     -Naughty Elf
  Dear Naughty Elf,
  I think that you're half way to recovery.  That is to say 
  you've already admitted that you have a problem.  Now you 
  just need to do something about it.  Find a nice boy to 
  settle down with...unless of course you love the thrill of 
  the affair....In which case, I think you have other issues 
  that you need to deal with. There are plenty of single men
  that you can talk to and perhaps something good will come 
  of it.

  Dear Naughty Elf, 
  Naughty elf? Hmm being a sexual substitute doesn't sound 
  terribly naughty to me... stupid perhaps... oh well I shall
  take your word for it. Hmm.. what can I say that will help 
  you? Murder? Selective male mutilation? I am tempted to
  consider your case terminal, but in my vast and unrelenting
  compassion and wisdom I shall offer you this snippet of 
  advice : - 
     "A man who strays with other mutts,
     Will offer those lies and those buts,
     So tie him up right,
     And make sure it's tight,
     As the key to his heart is his nuts."
  Enjoy...   Remember men -  pain is temporary, emasculation 

  A Newbie's Guide to... Player Killing - by Conran

  You've seen them around - They have colourful tags before 
  their names like (Anarchy) (type 'clans' to see a full 
  list) or (Unclanned) and they run around killing each 
  other.  Thats right, they're player killers.
  Since this is a newbies guide, let me start off by saying 
  this: DO NOT make your first character a player killer.  
  I'd suggest you make a peaceful avatar before trying to 
  take on the PK challenge.  It's not quite as easy as it 
  looks. Before you decide to make a PKiller, make sure you 
  know the game well.
  As the name suggests, a PK player will kill (or be killed) 
  by other PK players. You have to be on your toes at all 
  times, and always be spelled up.  Fights are usually over 
  fairly quickly, and equipment and armour will only do so 
  much... More often than not, it all comes down to who has
  the most heals.

  Like peacefuls, there are organisations that PKillers can
  join.  They're called clans.  Type 'help deadlyclans' for
  more information on their role.
  There are a few laws that a deadly needs to be aware of.  
  Before chosing to create a deadly player, read 'laws 
  pkill' and 'laws assist'.  To summarise the main points 
  you should be aware of, deadlies may not multiplay, receive
  any help from non-deadlies (including healing, portals, 
  curing curses etc).  Should you die, an Immortal will NEVER
  help you retreive your corpse.

  You can still be legally killed when you're AFK or 
  Link-Dead, although most deadly players are after a fair 
  fight, and should leave you alone, unless you've managed to 
  annoy them beforehand.

  Of course, once you understand these rules, and have the 
  experience to give PKilling a try, it can be a lot of fun.  
  There are a number of different ways that the game will 
  help you become a deadly.  Deadlies receive experience much
  faster, so they're much easier to level.  They have the 
  ability to go config +noexp, meaning if you reach level 20, 
  and want to stay at level 20 regardless of how many people 
  you kill, you can do so.
  A non-deadly may chose to become deadly, however once the 
  choice is made, theres no turning back - A deadly MAY NOT 
  become peaceful ever again.
  Along with the easier experience, the game gives you 2 
  hours in which you are not able to be killed.  You can use
  that time to level your character a great deal.  You must
  be level 5, and at least 18 years of age, before you can 
  engage in a fight.  To keep things fair, you can only kill
  a player within 5 levels of your own.  To stop you from 
  being killed repeatedly, you cannot be killed again for 5 
  minutes after being killed.

  Be warned, however, once you've been killed, the player 
  responsible for killing you is allowed to loot you, or 
  take some of your equipment from your corpse.

  So remember, playing as a deadly can be a lot of fun, but 
  can also be extremely frustrating if you don't have a good
  working knowledge of the game before deciding to become a 
  PKiller.  Should you decide to take on the challenge, try
  reading a couple of the following sites for some more 
  detailed instructions on exactly how to pkill:
So, my last words to you: Good luck, you'll probably need it!

  - By Conran

  Happy Birthday Ascendere! - by Conran

  The Order of Ascendere celebrated its third anniversary 
  last month.  The month marked the third year since a number
  of people departed their home at Arcanes in the hope of 
  finding a new challenge.  This challenge was realised with 
  the creation of a new, ethereal order known as Ascendere.
  Celebrations were held over a weekend, and included quests,
  runs and a lot of empty bottles of ale.

  Then, nearing the end of the first day of the celebrations,
  an announcement by the Leader, Covellia, was made that both
  her and Nitsuj, the Number One, would be retiring and 
  handing over leadership of the Order to Aylssa, at the time
  the Number Two of the order.  Kaiowas, the Blademaster, 
  would become the new Number One, and Syera, ex-Arbiter and 
  Ascendere Ancient was to take up the position of Number 
  Two.  Congratulations and best wishes to all of the people 
  above who are about to embark on a new journey full of 
  challenges and, hopefully, some level of enjoyment.

  A particular expression of gratitude must be given to 
  Covellia, the founding leader of Ascendere all those years 
  ago.  This party, for her, also marked the sixth year of 
  playing on Realms.  Of this time, a little over four and a 
  half years was spent in some form of leadership position 
  between Arcanes and the move to Ascendere.  Without her 
  input and dedication, the order would not be what it is

  - By Conran

  Ilsensine's Thoughts - by... uh.. Ilsensine.

  Perhaps it is a sign of old age, of senile (or pre-senile) 
  dementia... but of late I find myself having thoughts. Odd 
  perhaps, but in this forum I shall share these musings with
  1) You are playing a game, this is a fact. However, 
     consider other games you may play... would you think it 
     acceptable to hit someone else in a game of chess? Or to 
     throw their pieces to the ground?
  2) You have to power to view a situation from your own 
     angle. You also have the right to consider your own 
     conclusions as correct. However, you do not have the 
     right to impose that view upon another or to call down 
     the view of another player as being incorrect.
  3) Honesty is not a vice to cause harm. It should be 
     tempered with realism and compassion as all other things
  4) Fun is not at the expense of others.
  5) Weigh your words before you use them. A heavy word 
     hurts as much as a heavy sword.
  These are but thoughts. Use them however you will, but 
  think on them before you choose.

  - By Ilsensine

  Funny Bones! - Shargate Makes a Boobie, from Ilsensine

  Oddly, this really did happen... Baka, Tiki, Laurel and I 
  had just had a hug spam fest at NC HQ....
  Ilsensine says 'All that hugging... I need to readjust :P'
  Ilsensine stops using a sapphire encrusted bodice of sheer 
  Ilsensine fits a sapphire encrusted bodice of sheer glass 
  on her body.
  Shargate shouts 'Boobies!'
  Laurel rolls on the floor laughing hysterically.
  Laurel points at Ilsensine accusingly.
  Laurel says to Ilsensine, 'he was talking about YOURS'
  Ilsensine : Shargate shouts 'Boobies!' (ok.. am I being
  watched by Shargate?) :(
  Tiki : He's on to you.
  Ilsensine : I didn't even have this chan on :P What were 
  you guys dooooing? :P
  Shargate : laugh, that was honestly a coincidince, if it 
  lined up like that :P
  Pheayre : blame shargate.
  Llam a! You've been struck by a smooth llama.
  Kyrstal Ravenyze: 7/5th of peeps dont understand fractions.
  Goomra: When in doubt, use a lighter [NC:ON]
  Qizatch When with Goomra, don't doubt! [NC:on]
  Maray: 'Will my rhetorical questions never end?' [IT]
  Meade LifeBringer the Beer Hunting Reprobate Muggle.
  Yndrelliar has the most ugly name ever.  But he's kind of
  Dinin Bregan D'aerthe hates dem stinkin Muggles.
  Garrund Ravenyze says,"Never moon a werewolf"
  Krall Rice crispies with a snap, crackel, BOOM!
  Hobinay If I'm Hobbled, Do I Gibble?
  Maray: "Get confident, stupid!" [IT]
  Serianna Nvwls-Etheros Pixie action figure princess SHE.
  Cobblepot waddles you into Oblivion.
  Tarai wonders if she can set her laser printer on stun...
  Ygg MacCleod has a stuttering problem, and is.. is....

  The Official Cry of Despair Guide to Bad Things To Sit On.

  DISCLAIMER: There are more things than these that are bad
  to sit on. If you suspect that the thing you are sitting on
  is a Bad Thing To Sit  On, get up immediately and contact 
  the nearest Bad Things To Sit On  Control Center. This has
  been a public service announcement from the Cry of Despair.

  A rugby field.

  The ceiling.

  A public outhouse.

  Kali's lap. (Had a run-in with Moonbeam, Vladith? -Ed.)

  A sword.


  A sword that happens to be resting in Zeus's lap.

  Herne's chair (If you are sitting on this, you may be
  Herne. Seek help)

  Vital Information For Your Everyday Adventuring

  It's unlucky to have high amounts of luck.

  The worst punishment ever contrived is being turned into a 
  pixie who can't turn off racetalk.

  When a mage midases an item, it goes to a special place in

  If Darrek is grinning, don't worry - he's probably just been 

  If Tiki is grinning, don't worry - she's probably just been
   frollicking (or something cute like that).

  If Kali is grinning, you can't log off fast enough. 

  When in doubt - identify!

  Underneath that mysterious, scary exterior, Taboo is really
  just a mysterious, scary guy.

  Don't dismiss paranoia so easily - if you're deadly, 
  everyone IS out to get you.

  - By Vladith

  No help on 'useless' found.
  Similar Help Files:

  Hello and welcome to Ilsensine's 101 reasons...
  Enter the world where the inexplicable is revealed in front
  of your very eyes.
  Step forth and embrace the true secrets of life!
  This month....  reason number one
  1) Why there is no milk left in the fridge.
     - Anthrax.

  - submitted by Ilsensine

  The Sounds of Mortals - Sung to the tune of "Sounds of 
  Silence" by Simon and Garfunkle.  Adapted for RoD by 
  Hello Darkness my old friend
  I've come to run with you again
  Because your equipment I am needing
  Because you're greedy and you are keeping
  And the scroll of the battle that crossed the computer 
  Makes me scream
  It's the sounds of mortals
  And in new areas I explored alone
  Through mazes and DT's I would moan
  Under the eyes of watchful Imms
  I would suffer through their area whims
  And treading unprepared would lead me to a bright light
  I'd cry tonight
  And I'd whine; the sound of mortals

  And the drunkards bowed and prayed
  To the Beer God they had made
  Laughed at sexist dogma that he flaunted
  And the women were undaunted
  Women rebeled when they were sent to the kitchen
  He doesn't listen
  To the irate sounds of mortals
  Across the yellow spam I saw
  The people would laugh and they'd guffaw
  And morts would argue without sense
  Some of them were really quite dense
  People typing jeers that Imms didn't want to hear
  And Immortals cheer
  At no sounds from mortals

  These are excerpts from a note quest in the GoV, the winner 
  in this Case Razorth gave very creative and funny answers, 
  here are some Of them. Enjoy,
   - Tinani

  Quest Master> What animal would love to be purple and why?
  Razorth> Elephants would love to be purple so they hide 
  in Smartie containers better.
  Quest Master> The footprints on the ceiling were made by 
  Razorth> The footprints on the ceiling were made by The
  Drunken Invisible Psychic Flying Monkeys who had their way 
  they the ink bottles.

  Quest Master> Why do vampires sleep in coffins and not
  monkey skin beds?
  Razorth> Vamps sleep in coffins and not monkey skin beds 
  because vamps have bad backs and need the tough wood 
  surface to straighten their spines. Plus most  monkey skin
  beds are only made with the butt of the monkey and that 
  gets down-right smelly.
  Quest Master> Bunnies should be used for what in the 
  Razorth> Bunnies should be used as our secret weapon 
  against the Guild of Druids.  We could hypnotize them, and
  then fill every orifice with explosives and send them over
  to the GoD tree house. Then while all the druids are  
  petting the bunnies, *BOOM* , GoV with be triumphant!! 
  *Evil Laugh*

  Quest News + Reports - Elf Nation Quest, by Begaria

  Elf Nation Quest Report

  On November 10th the Elven Nation had a nation quest that 
  excellently turned out.  Racin, Guild of Rangers Leader, 
  planned out the quest and was in charge of it.  Kahlynn, 
  Queen of the Elves, helped out by collecting fees for 
  entrance and helped run for the prizes. The Quest was a 
  Poker Quest.  You get a clue to where the dealer is, find 
  the dealer, get a card and at the end of the quest, best
  hand wins.

  So here's a summary of how it played out:
  Each questor would have to race to the dealer.  Each dealer
  is placed in a specific place with clues to where they are.
  Each dealer is on for only 30 mins.  When the questor got 
  to the dealer they get a card.  The more dealers you get 
  to, the more cards you get.  At the end of the quest, all
  hands are shown and the highest hand wins.
  The results of the quest:
  1st Place - Claiming the AV Cleric (First Place Prize),
              Meari is Khaimran, winning with 3 of a kind.
  2nd Place - Tornado won by Dee.
  3rd Place - Devout Scales of Alpha and Omega won by 
  4th Place - An unmade Dragon Claw of Legend won by 
  Dee, Zyrzec, and Elaeny all had a pair so it was a close 
  quest. Jauxer, Jannzoni, and Elyse also collected a few 
  cards and claimed prizes. Kahlynn, Timmis, Vernese, and 
  Asurmen made the effort and will also receive a prize.

  There are 35 items left over for the next Elven Nation 
  Quest in 3 months. A little interview on Racin for the 

  Begaria> How did you feel the way the quest went?

  Racin> It went very well, only one person got lost in RoW
  but she escaped without harm ;)

  Begaria> Are nation quests something you'd like to take 
  charge of again?'

  Racin> I have always enjoyed making quests (probably 
  because I like exploring to find new hiding places), so I 
  would like to make a few more for the nation if enough 
  interest is shown.

  Begaria> How good was the participation for the quest?

  Racin> 21 elves qualified this time, and 13 actually 
  participated, which was pretty good for the 1st attempt.
  Some informed me they would miss the quest due to RL stuff 
  ahead of time, but you can never find a time good for 

  Begaria> I see.  Who donated the prizes?

  Racin> The prizes other than the cleric were collected 
  on the elf nation runs led by Kahlynn and I. I leveled the 
  cleric before hand and donated it.

  Begaria> Do you know anything about the next quest and
  would you be willing to share a little information about 

  Racin laughs out loud!
  Racin> I just finished this one, I have not started the 
  planning of the next one yet, ask again in a couple months.

  Begaria> Now for my favourite part of interviews, a 
  little advice from the interviewee.  Any advice or messages 
  you'd like to send out to RoD?

  Racin> When you are bored go exploring, especially low 
  level areas and new areas, you never know where someone 
  like me will hide something you need for a quest.
  Racin grins so evilly that everyone's alignment drops to 
  Thank you for Racin for his time and information about all
  this. Congratulations to all questors.  For all you Elves 
  out there, participate in the next quest, go on a few 
  nation runs, and score big with some items!

  - By Begaria

  @@@  @@@  @@@@@@  @@@@@@@  @@@@@@@   @@@@@@  @@@@@@@ 
  @@!  @@@ @@!  @@@ @@@  @@@ @@!  @@@ @@!  @@@ @@@  @@@
  @!!!@@@! !!!  !!@ @@@!!!!  !!!!!@@  @@@  !!! !!!!!@@ 
  !!:  !!! !!:  !!! !!: :!!  !!: :!!  !!:  !!! !!: :!! 
   :   : :  : :. :   :   : :  :   : :  : :. :   :   : :
         ;||||                     ,,,,,,
        ||||                    ,||''   ''||,
       ,,|||||||,,,          |||'          |||
     ,||''        '|||,,, ,,||'       &&     |
     ||     &&         '''.''                |
     |||,     ,,,,,,,'||','||',,,,,,,     ,|||
    ,||||||||||||||| || ,|, |||||||||||||||||||
    ;||||||||||  ,,|||||| |||||   '''||||||||||
     |||||     |||||||||| |||||||  |    ''||||
      '   || ,||||||||||  ' ||||||    |||
            ,||''',,, ;'' ;', ,,,   |  |
            ,, |' ;|   '  ;   '|  |' ,,
            ;|     '           '     ;|
   @@@@@@ @@@  @@@  @@@@@@  @@@  @@@  @@@
  !@@     @@!  @@@ @@!  @@@ @@!  @@!  @@!
   !@@!!  @@@!!!@! !!@  !!@ @@!  !!@  @!@
      !:! !!:  !!! !!:  !!!  !:  !!:  !!
  ::.: :   :   : :  : :. :    ::.:  :::
  Finals are to be held on December 5th 2001!

  Using only the ten letters below, pack the grid on the next
  page with words. You may use any letter as often as you 
  like, but don't use the same word twice in the grid. This 
  includes singular and plural versions of the same word, 
  inflected versions of a word (such as LOVE and LOVED), and 
  varient spellings of the same word. Use any word in a 
  standard dictionary, including slang, but don't use 
  capitalized or foreign words, contractions, abbreviations,
  acronyms, prefixes, or suffixes. After completing the grid,
  calculate your score by adding up each across row.
  NOTE: Final decisions on the eligibility of a word are left
  up to the judges.
                   |  R  T  M  N  E  S  I  A  L  G  | 
                   |  3  2  5  1  3  4  2  5  4  1  | 

Row 01                          ___|___|___      
Row 02                         |___|___|___|                     
Row 03      ___         ___________|___|___________         ___  
Row 04     |___|       |___|___|___|___|___|___|___|       |___| 
Row 05     |___|_______|___|       |___|       |___|_______|___| 
Row 06     |___|___|___|___|                   |___|___|___|___| 
Row 07              ___|___|_______     _______|___|___          
Row 08             |___|___|___|___|   |___|___|___|___| 
Row 09                  ___    |___|   |___|    ___         
Row 10                 |___|___|___|   |___|___|___|      
Row 11      ___        |___|___|___|   |___|___|___|        ___  
Row 12     |___|_______|___|   |___|   |___|   |___|_______|___| 
Row 13     |___|___|___|___|                   |___|___|___|___| 
Row 14     |___|_______________             _______________|___| 
Row 15     |___|___|___|___|___|           |___|___|___|___|___| 
Row 16     |___|        ___|___|___________|___|___        |___| 
Row 17     |___|       |___|___|___|___|___|___|___|       |___| 

  Literary Corner - That Wacky Pelmen, by Begaria

  The rustling of the leaves from the breeze blows through 
  the Vallenwood and surrounding trees.  An owl calls out
  it's sounds, "Hoot, hoot, damn this coffee is hot, hoot."  
  Looking up in strange puzzlement, Racin wonders what type 
  of mage is out stalking the streets of Darkhaven playing 
  with the ventriliquate spell.  Well, he though, if I see a
  robed figure with a steaming mug in its hands, then I know 
  who it is.

  Standing up on the branch he was sitting on, Racin 
  stretched luxirously with a great deal of cracks and pops 
  following thereafter, and started down the branch he was 
  on.  Down and down he climbed until his feet touched the 
  floor of the Guild of Ranger's recall.  Racin liked 
  climbing to the top of the tree to watch the stars overhead
  when it's nice out.  When the breeze brushes past him with
  her ever so soft and gentle touch of love, Racin swoons in 
  delight.  It helps him to go up there to clear his mind 
  from the responsibility of being the Guildmaster of the
  Guild of Rangers.  Well, thought Racin, time to make the 
  rounds around the guild and see what's up.  And he started
  off to the training grounds of the Guild of Rangers.
  Walking through a natural doorway and stepping on to the
  carpeted and matted area of the training grounds, Racin 
  stopped and looked around to see the young guilded Rangers 
  working hard.  He spotted one Ranger in particular and went
  over to talk.

  Racin says, 'Hey Merf, how's it going?'
  Merf says, 'Pretty good, just making sure these younguns
  know how to handle there weapons and such.  NO KIRBY, 
  THAT'S A BAD KIRBY! Lowbies these days....'
  Racin says, "Any trouble going on?"  Merf says, "Nope, 
  nothing I've heard has been happening.  FOR THE LAST TIME 
  <('.')> Kirby apologizes
  Merf says, "That's better!"

  Racin says his goodbyes to Merf and Kirby and leaves the 
  training grounds.  Meanwhile, a black figure slips from the
  shadows from behind Merf.

  Merf says, 'Man these youngens are too much for me...I need
  a banana.'

  A banana pops down in front Merf's eyes.  Merf squeals in 
  sudden delight and tries to take the banana.  As soon as
  Merf's hands touched the banana Kirby opens his mouth up 
  and starts sucking up the banana.  Kirby likes bananas, and
  clouds, and monsters, and berries, and tomatoes, and 
  anything he can get his lips around.  Merf struggles hard 
  against the sucking attack but it doesn't work too well, as
  he slipped on the discarded banana and he flew right into 
  Kirby's mouth.  Well, nice knowing ya Merf.

  Racin had just finished surveying the donation room and now
  he told himself that it was time to hit his office and do 
  some paperwork. So he made his way to his office and went 
  inside.  He plopped himself down into his chair and looked 
  around.  There was no paperwork.

  Sighing with relief, Racin leaned back in his chair and 
  closed his eyes. On and on and on and on he slept and 
  dreamed of warm breezes flowing through his hair and the 
  gentle sound of brushing leaves in the wind. Finally he 
  opened his eyes and all he saw was pure white.  His office
  was literally covered with man-high piled up papers.  Racin
  stared in disbelief.  He looked around wildly and his eyes 
  settled on a black covered figure.

  Racin says, 'What the...?!  How'd you do this?'
  The black robed figure says, " see....ahh....

  And at that sneeze, all the papers came tumbling down on 
  top of Racin, knocking him out with a multitude of 
  papercuts.  The figure shrugged and threw off his cape and 
  mask.  It was Pelmen.  Grinning that evil grin of his, he
  quietly left Racin's office and was immediately sucked up 
  Kirby who gone off from the training room in search for 
  something to eat.  Patting his fat belly, Kirby waddled 
  over to the edge of the Vallenwood and tried to fly down.  

  However, being fat and trying to fly doesn't work well with
  gravity and so Kirby fell 30 metres to his death on the 
  ground below the tree.  Meanwhile, some mages were carrying
  some heavy things back from an expedition.  There was one 
  lagging behind since his was a heavy load, he lost his grip
  and the 30 pound metallic thing fell straight down.  Back 
  at  Kirby's carcass, Racin had just climbed out of Kirby's 
  mouth when the 30 pound metallic thing struck him full on 
  the head, flattening and killing him instantly.  Pelmen 
  also climbed out of Kirby's carcass and started wiping off 
  all the saliva and excess material that had been in Kirby's
  stomach.  He glanced at the carcass of Kirby and smiled his
  little evil smile.  He glanced at the flatened shape of 
  Racin and burst out into maniacal laughter.  He stood there
  laughing for a good ten minutes and couldn't stop laughing.
  Thoric sees this evil person laughing it up over the death 
  of someone and decides to punish this evil cretin.  Out of
  nowhere came this MOOOOOOOOOING that MOOOOOVING quite fast
  to the ground and with pinpoint accuracy towards Pelmen's
  head.  Pelmen stopped laughing and was just merely 
  chuckling when he noticed his shadow getting bigger.

  Wondering what's happening he starts looking around and 
  finally looks straight up and as his mouth falls down, he 
  stared in horror as his eyes filled up with nothing but a 
  cow's body heading towards him.  Not being able to move, 
  Pelmen is struck by this cow that had been falling for some
  time and is pushed down into the Earth and straight to the 
  place where Hell is. "This isn't so bad." said Pelmen as he
  looked around Hell.
  "Peanut butter is good.  Peanut butter is good.  Peanut 
  butter is good." said a voice in Pelmen's mind and it kept
  saying that over and over until Pelmen couldn't take it 
  anymore and fell unconcious.  Out of nowhere a cow comes 
  from the sky and strikes Pelmen again, this time, ending 
  his existence.
  By:  Begaria Minal  (A person who has no hard feelings 
    towards Pelmen)

  DISCLAIMER: The Cry accepts no liability for loss of sleep,
  sanity, or otherwise, caused by the reading of this 
  article. - Ed.

  Hiya's, here's a poem of mine I'd thought I'd submit...
    - Foamfoller
  In times gone past, a man may slay, another in righteous 
  and a fair maidens heart could be won, in bitter and bloody
  as i wait at dreary stop, mind at journey's end,
  I dwell on what has been before, and what is today,
  wishing for a marraige of the two, and a dragon or two to 
  Here's another :)
  I gaze upon a lizard, a fire breathing gecko,
  I grovel before its majesticy, a seventh of a inch high.
  Oh great reptilian monolith, grant me a boon,
  cast upon my shadow, a cantrip of travel,
  set my dreams free.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*              Blight of the Earth the Vampire's Chant              *
*                                                                   *
*     Fog of death descend on we, power magic's one, two, three.    *
*            Death of land, Death of sea, Death of air,             *
*                   Nothing can protect'eth thee.                   *
*                  Time now comes the fate of man                   *
*                 Nothing stops the blackened hand.                 *
*                                                                   *
*                 Rise from death ye scattered bone                 *
*              and blight the human race that's known               *
*               Invoke your power this planet, rape                 *
*                From Hades grasp you doth escape.                  *
*             Undead minions in strength you've grown,              *
*                  Find your prey, let evil roam.                   *
*                                                                   *
*            Death of land, Death of sea, Death of air,             *
*                   Nothing can protect'eth thee.                   *
*                  Time now comes the fate of man                   *
*                 Nothing stops the blackened hand.                 *
*                                                                   *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *(1/3)* *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*                                                                   *
*                    Time that Once went round,                     *
*                   break away and not be found.                    *
*                  All ye babes to gray white hair,                 *
*                May wrinkles form from here to there.              *
*                   Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.                *
*               Your cities crumble, your weapons rust.             *
*                                                                   *
*            Death of land, Death of sea, Death of air,             *
*                   Nothing can protect'eth thee.                   *
*                  Time now comes the fate of man                   *
*                 Nothing stops the blackened hand.                 *
*                                                                   *
*                   Love to hate, make hate remain                  *
*              forever blackened the hearts are stained.            *
*                The man the wife they fight they hate              *
*               their peace be ruined, behold your fate.            *
*                May peace become like distant dream,               *
*                 Be not realized, this be my scheme.               *
*                  Peace to war the mortals deem,                   *
*                  The battle cries are let scream.                 *
*                                                                   *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *(2/3)* *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*                                                                   *
*            Death of land, Death of sea, Death of air,             *
*                   Nothing can protect'eth thee.                   *
*                  Time now comes the fate of man                   *
*                 Nothing stops the blackened hand.                 *
*                                                                   *
*               This spell complete the time now come,              *
*                    we disappear our spirits run                   *
*                The light be gone, the sun not shine               *
*                  Give us a break its hard to rhyme                *
*                   The fog of death rise up high                   *
*                  spread across, deliver this cry.                 *
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*     -Tinani Blood'Drake                                           *
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  Advertisement - The Order of Baali

  Introduccion di Baali
  Deep within the recesses of a scarred imagination, we come.
  Feasting on the living, diablierizing the unliving, we 
  thrive. We multiply. The shadows that shift in the corner
  of your eye, the bloodcurdling scream of terror heard 
  shrieking in the night, the dark whispers of madness and 
  pain of worlds beyond measure. We are the ultimate 
  expression of beauty, of power, of death. Fear us, for the 
  Dark Gods, they are coming. A new order will begin in the 
  cosmos, one of joy and misery, pain and pleasure, blood and
  death. We are forever, the unholy fires that burn eternal, 
  scarring your soul, leaving our mark of corruption, leading 
  you to the true path of power, join our sacrifice, and let 
  Ba'al reign supreme again.

    - Submitted by Kador, on behalf of the Order of Baali...