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Interview: Stoker; Micala: Of Gods and Beasts

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       | [STAFF]               |.';._)(_,' `.| [CONTENTS]            |
       | Anaisse Apollonia     |   \   (     | CRY2    Feature       |
       | Cyniq Dacoit Conran   |   |  , '.   | CRY9    Funny Bones   |
       | Brakko Keroppi Kuah   |  /       \  | CRY15   Guilds&Orders |
       | Louellin Mea Naeblisn |      /.     | CRY16   Poems&Stories |
       | Thabo Tunclon Vestia  +=+=-=+=-=+=-=+ CRY21   Announcements |
       | [EDITOR] Mystaric     | Aug 15 1999 | CRY26  Special Notice |
       | [PRINTER] Bede        |  Number 20  |                       |
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 -------------------- The Cry of Despair Feature Story --------------------

Recently, we were fortunate enough to interview a well known deadly character, 

Cyniq: When did you first start pkilling?
Stoker: Its been so long i dont remember the date or even the year really
about 6 months after RoD first went up. I was leveling my first char (Hellspawn
a Druid) Got to lvl 25 and someone asked me to join Nightbreed. So after being
whooped a few dozen times I left at lvl 42, when I got to avatar I joined back.
Back then when you outcasted you became peaceful again.  I was basically a
background fighter, spelling our guys up, grouped in the back attacking, castin
blind and stuff.
Anaisse: Whats the biggest difference in deadly vs peaceful characters, other
than the obvious killing other players :)
Stoker: You act differently when on a deadly.  Got more to lose, not just
equipment but reputation.  Reputation means alot in pkill world.
Anaisse: Do you find a close bond in the clans?
Stoker: In a way yes, but soon as the alliances changed, so did peoples bonds
I have friends in all clans, but its not my fault if they are in the wrong clan
the wrong time
Cyniq: Do you or they hold grudges?
Stoker: I hold grudges but they don't last for very long, depends on what
Cyniq: Whats the biggest challenge right now facing your clan?
Stoker: Sorting loot
Anaisse: Can you explain a bit about what deadlies do, and the rivalrys they
Stoker:These days most kill not only for the eq, but for bragging rights. If 
have never pkilled, then once you do, be ready for your hands to shake.  The
adrenaline rush can be quite interesting. Took me awhile to over come them
Anaisse: Have there been major clan changes lately?
Stoker: Many changes lately.  Akhkharu took leadership of Brujah back
Ixshath the former leader took leadership of Lasombra to get them back on
track.I'm proud to say that Nosferatu is the only clan its original leader stil
place.  Some #1 and #2 mixing has happened also.
Anaisse: How do clans differ from guilds and orders?
Stoker: We don't spam our private channel with run announcements. I believe
we are more closer as a team then guilds. Too many people in guilds/orders,
clans are smaller and have closer bonds
Cyniq: Whats the biggest problem facing pkill ? In your opinion.
Stoker:Trash talk and disrespect, because someone looted someone 1 year ago
link dead blah blah blah
Cyniq: do you think pkill still has a future?
Stoker:I hope so or i'll be selling my Artifacts.Even though I've pkilled for
years, i still find enjoyment in it somehow.  Maybe it's to keep my reputation
What advice would you give to a newbietar pkiller?
Stoker:Don't join a clan that I'm warring. I'd say, go back and make a lvl 15
or 20 and pkill with it.  It will get you in shape for whats to come at avatar
level. There is a big difference, think of it as basic training. If you are
willing to learn, devote some equipment when you are trained enough, then level
Cyniq: Melee!
Anaisse: ? :)
Stoker: mmMMmmMMmmMMmm
Cyniq: its the arena for deadlies
Cyniq: Each clan has one
Anaisse: So like a deadly practice area?
Stoker: Yep. Also a great hiding place for saving your invading char in.
Cyniq: So how did Stoker get so damn buff?
Stoker: Err well, When i lead Retribution i had an artifact, I died and lost 
the last day of those clans (Silly me) So, i started leading Nos, got Nos 
artifact, then the guy who had ret artifact left and gave it back to me. 
Then a Big deadly named Shiva had an untimely death, needless to say
Felix and myself got most of the good loot.  I inherited a affect true
+stated Demonic Influence.  Later, i killed Tyral (leader of Ventrue)
and took his artifact.  Then Felix decided to leave so we had a long duel
and i killed him for his stuff, which was Forsaken artifact, brujah
Cyniq: He has the brujah articfact back?
Stoker: I then killed Sombreiq, but gave the artifact back 1 week later
since it was a cheap kill.  Nope, I then killed Sombreiq again and took
the artifact.  He left, came back in a few months and started again so I
gave it back.  Then killed him again.  Kept it this time, 3 strikes you're
out.  So, I have Nosferatu, Ventrue, Brujah, Tremere, Forsaken,
Retribution artifacts.
Cyniq: There is still 1 more out there?
Stoker: Yes, Lasombra.  Oh yeah, I killed Anakin for Las artifact and
gave it to Felix and in return he gave me the Forsaken.  Got a few
oblivions from Seth.  Stoker: Got some nice nonclanned quest eq from
Cyniq: Have you ever come close to dying with all your present eq?
Stoker: Yep, few times I was down to like 300 or so hps and 300 hps
isn't so much against deadlies that can do that in 1 round with good
attacks.  When I get below 1000 i get worried.  I've died once ld.  But
the person who killed me was honorable enough to return the loot.  DL
or LD killing is very bad in the eyes of deadlies.  I was fighting 2
people at DH Sq, lost my link in Aggressive.  So flee didn't come in
and I did not have the LD flag for the auto recall.  Since you can't flee
in Aggressive..:)  Earlier in the day Zater went LD and I stopped
attacking him.  He just returned the favor.  But, there are people who
would have kept the loot.
Anaisse: What's changed the most over the time you have been playing?
Stoker: My Goddam #1 and #2.....but mostly the biggest change is the
loss of interest in pkilling it seems
Tough way to go, do many get discouraged?
Stoker: I used to kill anyone and everyone.  I've now tried to give all
lowbies a chance and try protect them, if needed.  If I see a clan
member killing an unclanned lowbie I'll take the unclanned side, unless
the unclanned is Mouthy I'll leave them alone.  Experience is lost in
deadly leveling, but not as bad as peaceful i think.  From lvl 1 to 15 or
so you get bonus exp for leveling.  Which is why deadlies level faster.
Which is why i use to be lvl 40+ with most deadlies before i hit the age
of 18. :)
Anaisse: What would you say is the biggest benefit in playing a deadly?
Stoker: Not only is the adrenaline rush neat, but you have to think on what y
are doing.  Your fighting a mob with a brain practically..Whose intent
is to KILL you, not just hurt you.
Anaisse: Practically :) ?
Stoker:  Some deadlies you cant really tell..:)
Cyniq: What's your most memorable experience since the present day
clans came in?
Stoker: Sooooooo many.  But killing the leader of Chaos (Wes) was
kinda neat Maybe getting my first lifebane also Stoker: /shroud 
/clan equipment.  Sleeping people from a saferoom no matter where
they were in the Game as long as they weren't in a saferoom either? :)
Anaisse: Any really funny things you can remember?
Stoker: Invading Hqs was always funny.  You were BUFF if you had
100 dr best nonclan visor waaaaay back was Black Knights visor.
Doing runs on Icing death for pkill equipment.  Best weapon for
warrior being Elf-bane or many knotched axe.  Wow, it's still in the
game too.  Being terrified of Darkblade was fun too, or Assamite.
Cyniq: Do you plan on leaving pkill or RoD in the near future?
Stoker: Not the near future, will go on until i have to leave.  I don't
spend all my time on RoD anymore.  Gotta work and also I like playing
Action Quake2 alot.  Or now my new hobby is Mech Warrior 3.  Oh
yeah, i work for the Company that hosts RoD.  Don't worry, I won't trip
over the power cord.
Cyniq: Did you work for them when you started rod?
Stoker shakes his head.
Stoker: I used them as my ISP when i first started.
Cyniq: Anything else youd like to add?
Stoker: Urhm....Don't fight me at night, my ping is usually below 20ms.
Stoker winks suggestively.  CABLE RULES!!!
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Editor's Note: Sometimes a story comes to our attention that needs no 
polishing or enhancement to make it a good Block tax story.  This is one of 
those.  It is a real letter submitted to the IRS in the midst of last 
year's weird and bizarre denial of dependents, exemptions, and credits.  We 
believe the letter speaks for itself.
Dear Sirs:
I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three 
dependents I claimed on my 1994 Federal Tax return.  Thank you.  I have 
questioned whether these are my children or not for years.  They are evil 
and expensive.  It's only fair that since they are minors and not my 
responsibility that the government (who evidently is taxing me more to care 
for these waifs) knows something about them and what to expect over the 
next year.  You may apply next year to reassign them to me and reinstate 
the deduction.  This year they are yours.
The oldest, Kristen, is now 17.  She is brilliant.  Ask her.  I suggest you 
put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions 
about their returns.  While she has no formal training, it has not seemed 
to hamper her knowledge of any other subject you can name.  Taxes should be 
a breeze.
Next year she is going to college.  I think it's wonderful that you will 
now be responsible for that little expense.  While you mull that over, keep 
in mind that she has a truck.  It doesn't run at the moment so you have the 
immediate decision of appropriating some Department of Defense funds to fix 
the vehicle or getting up early to drive her to school.  Kristen also has a 
boyfriend.  Oh joy.  While she possesses all of the wisdom of the universe, 
her alleged mother and I have felt it best to occasionally remind her of 
the virtues of abstinence.  This is always uncomfortable and I am quite 
relieved you will be handling this in the future.  May I suggest that you 
reinstate Joycelyn Elders, who had a rather good handle on the problem?
Patrick is 14.  I've had my suspicions about this one.  His eyes are a 
little close together for normal people.  He may be a tax examiner himself 
one day if you do not incarcerate him first.  In February I was awakened at 
three in the morning by a police officer who was bringing Pat home.
He and his friends were TP'ing houses.  In the future would you like him 
delivered to the local IRS office or to Ogden, UT?  Kids at 14 will do 
almost anything on a dare.  His hair is purple.  Permanent dye, temporary 
dye, what's the big deal?  Learn to deal with it.  You'll have plenty of 
time as he is sitting out a few days of school after instigating a food 
I'll take care of filing your phone number with the vice principal.  Oh 
yes, he and all of his friends have raging hormones.
This is the house of testosterone and it will be much more peaceful when he 
lives in your home.  DO NOT leave any of them unsupervised with girls, 
explosives, inflammables, inflatables,  vehicles, or telephones.  (I'm sure 
that you will find telephones a source of unimaginable amusement, and be 
sure to lock out the 900 and 976 numbers.)
Heather is an alien.  She slid through a time warp and appeared quite by 
magic one year.  I'm sure this one is yours.  She is 10 going on 21.  She 
came from a bad trip in the sixties.  She wears tie-dyed clothes, beads, 
sandals, and hair that looks like Tiny Tim's.  Fortunately, you will be 
raising my taxes to help offset the pinch of her remedial reading courses. 
Hooked On Phonics is expensive so the schools dropped it.  Good news! You 
can buy it yourself for half the amount of the deduction that you are 
denying.  It's quite obvious that we were terrible parents (ask the other 
two) so they have helped raise this one to a new level of terror.
She cannot speak English.  Most people under twenty understand the curious 
patois she fashioned out of valley girls/boys and the 
red/reggae/yuppie/political  doublespeak.  I don't.  The school sends her 
to a speech pathologist who has her roll her R's.  It added a refreshing 
Mexican/Irish touch to her voice.  She wears hats backwards, pants baggy, 
and wants one of her ears pierced four more times.  There is a fascination 
with tattoos that worries me but I am sure that you can handle it.
Bring a  truck when you come to get her, as she sort of "nests" in her room 
and I think that it would be easier to move the entire thing than find out 
what it is really made of.
You denied two of the three exemptions so it is only fair you get to pick 
which two you will take.  I prefer that you take the youngest.  I will 
still go bankrupt with Kristen's college but then I am free.  If you take 
the two oldest then I still have time for counseling before Heather becomes 
a teenager.  If you take the two girls then I won't feel so bad about 
putting Patrick in a military academy.
Please let me know of your decision as soon as possible as I have already 
increased the withholding on my W-4 to cover the $4395 in additional tax 
and to make a down payment on an airplane.
Yours Truly,

Courtesy of Brezhan, who sent it to me in the first place =)
knowing me, I'm sure you'll see something like that from me in the future ;)

A situation that arose recently in Guild of Mages:
Tenthales guildtalks 'just call me .... bob'
Jaerd guildtalks 'uh....ok...bob......'
You guildtalk '*laugh* can i be fred?
Tenthales guildtalks 'Saraphin is STEVE!!'
Saraphin guildtalks 'i dont like steve :( i wanna be.... pete :)'
Saraphin guildtalks 'k. bob, fred, and pete. lets start a band or soemthin ;)'
Tenthales guildtalks 'rofl! I get to sing!'
Jaerd guildtalks 'I wanna be Gretel! errr....wait....'
Tenthales guildtalks 'Is our band like that stupid cartoon .. Ed Edd N Eddy?
                      Scept .. Pete Fred and Bob? hehehe'
Jaerd guildtalks 'and gretel! pete, fre, bob, and gretel!'
You guildtalk 'who's gretel?'
Jaerd guildtalks 'me!'
You guildtalk 'hey.. we're chicks and we've got manly man names... '
Jaerd guildtalks 'so I'm a manly man with a chick name.'
Sagashi guildtalks 'damnit!'
Jaerd guildtalks 'what? you wanted to be gretel?'
Jaerd guildtalks 'ok, the band name is........3 chicks with manly names and
                  some screw-up, period'
We have yet to come up with any singable song.

By Elbanon
Elbanon: help kali relieve stress - huggle him.
You yell 'Help!  I am being attacked by Kali!'
Kali's pierce EVISCERATES you!
(a pair of dragonscale greaves gets damaged)
That really did HURT!
Kali's pierce DISFIGURES you!
(a Bracer of Light gets damaged)
..Everything begins to fade to black.
You feel yourself leaving your body... rising up into the air, you feel
more free than you have ever felt before...
However, before your deity comes to collect your soul, you feel a strange
pulling sensation as strange and colorful mists swirl around you...
Auction: A new item is being auctioned: the corpse of Elbanon at 0 gold.
No bids on this item have been received.
Object 'corpse Elbanon' is an armor, special properties: none
Its weight is 100, value is 0, and level is 0.
Armor class is 0.
Auction: the corpse of Elbanon: going twice for 10,000,000.
Im worth that little huh !
Auction: Sale of the corpse of Elbanon has been stopped by an Immortal.

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GoP News
The Guild of Paladins welcomes Herekan, Javelot and Colbey to our halls :)

To: GoP
The kind Paladin Gedrose Warrior of the Heavens helped me get some much needed 
I think the guild of paladins is lucky to have such a nice man amongst their ra
i reccomend you give him high honors

GoM news
GoM has re-opened its application process, and Its are back to work.
In the meantime... masses are sitting around at recall.
It has been deemed a plague of boredom.
There is no known cure.
We would like to welcome new members Danthar and Grocka. We would also
like to wish good luck to those currently questing for membership.
There was a close election between Kirg and Doreen for the new Guild
Second. In the end the voters elected Kirg. Congrats!

Poems and Stories
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there 
may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms
with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to
others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. 
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for
always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your
achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career
however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for
high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially
do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all
aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the
counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not
distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and
loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you
have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt
the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And 
whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams;
it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
[The much beloved poem "Desiderata" was written (and copyrighted) in 1927]
                       by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945)

Of Gods and Beasts [RNF Quest Story]
By Micala
The merriment of the feast swirled about her like a mist of gaiety. 
Voices rising and falling with the passionate enjoyment of both food 
and company. New ones were welcomed heartily, awards given brought 
proud smiles and admiring claps as the Rol Na Feinne joined in fellowship. 
At first the unease she felt was so muted that the stealth of it left her 
wandering thru the feast in a daze, an uncertain smile pasted upon her lips.
When it sharpened into focus she was stunned with the vision she received. 
All her fears congealed into a hot, heavy ball of reality... It was coming,
how it had discovered the location of the Orb of Noralyn she would never 
know. But it was coming. 
The voices that had filled her with pleasure now rose to a crescendo of 
chattering that only added to her anxiety. As she felt the worried gaze of 
her mentor, Sir Chengis, upon her the need to check the Orb she had so 
carefully hidden in the castle became overwhelming. Bidding a quick good 
bye she vanished from the gardens.
There was not time to do anything as she returned to the castle for outside 
the gates was a presense so sinister with intent that its cold darkness crept 
into the castle like a deadly touch of plague. She ran out to it, voice shrill 
as she screamed for it to take flight. 
But Morkeleb, the Black remained unperturbed as he stated his demands. 
He would leave with the Orb or the castle would fall that very night. 
Her cries of alarm brought the entire castle to the fore. They gathered
before the gates in a large group of heavily armored men and women.
Faces were grim as they listened to the dragon, his mention of the Orb
being the first they had heard of such a thing. A murmuring arose from the
crowd as they challenged the presense of the great beast. Some were readied
to attack and drag him from the sky to his death, others would await their
leader's word. Twas the elf's resistance to handing over the Orb that enraged
the beast so that he seized the leader in his thick heavy talons and soaring
upwards, hovered there to issue his ultimatum -The Orb of Noralyn in exchange 
for the life of Sir Chengis. Their disappearance was met with the outraged
cries of the knights as they moved quickly to action.
At the urging of one they rushed inside and with a thorough search the pixie
Gwvryn uncovered the Orb. The low seductive singing of the dragon's soul that
was trapped within the Orb combined with the tauntings of the pixie brought 
Morkeleb spiraling down from the heights above. The glimmer of pleasure in
faceted eyes was unmistakeable as the dragon waited eagerly for possession 
of the object that would increase his power to an indestructable level. 
Micala knew the others were unaware of the lure and power of the Orb. And
tho Gwvyrn was distrustful of the elf's insistent instruction she handed 
it over to the ebony beast. Morkeleb delivered Sir Chengis keeping true to 
his word, but in a flicker of a moment returned and capturing the half-troll 
in the grip of razored claws he launched himself skyward and disappeared.
They knew their leader's distress was far greater than his words to them 
revealed and so they searched the realms with an expedience borne of their 
devotion. Morkeleb was first found at the carnival and after a battle both
quick and fierce he fled the bloodlust of the Rol Na Feinne to a land he 
thought more difficult. Again the quickness of the knights discovered the 
dragon in the Blasted Lands and once again blades met talon and fang.
The carnage was great as the beast unleashed his rage upon them and as 
those remaining stout of heart drove at him with a relentless fury Morkeleb 
fled once more. Twas the quick spell casting of the pixie Kleef that opened 
a rift to him the final time. There were found Kaan, Shin, Rekfine, Gunnolk 
along with Bacara and others battling with a fierce determination. Blood 
flowed thick and hot as Shandryl, the She-Dragon strove alongside them in 
a desperate attempt to free her husband. Their blood still burned with a 
vengence even as the dragon fell to the killing blow of Sir Kaan. 
Micala's heart soared as Shin handed to her the Orb he had snatched
from the mangled corpse. Chengis was pulled from the massive claws 
of the dragon and while Shandryl and others worked to restore her
husband to health, Micala stood clutching the Orb of Noralyn. 
The sweet bewitching song of the dragon rose from the tiny globe to drift 
about them and none noticed the shadowy mist that arose from the rotting
corpse. And for but a split second she felt Morkeleb, the Black ease into
into her mind to touch her briefly with a bitter promise of revenge.
                                The End
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           | Congrats  to |
         Fademan and Elisabet
         on your announcement.
  from Kuah and the Guild of Thieves
Any couple out there who has been / is mud married... Or anybody out
there who has been mud divorced please contact me in mud mail for
an upcoming article on mud marriages.
Thanks in Advance,

The CoD has a public board for you to post suggestions and ideas for the
paper.  The board is located in our New Front Office which is located
e,s,u,u,s,w,s from dh[].
Say, you! Yes, you, sitting there with your dagger
dripping with the blood of some unlucky mob!
Sure, you can kill these things for fun and profit,
but deep down you want something more meaningful.
You want to show the Realms your stuff, that you're
not just another roseate ring-headed killer.
But how do you stand away from the crowd?
How do you distinguish yourself?
It's simple! Write for the CoD! Your words will
be immortalized for all time! Your name will resound
throughout the land! You'll get long hours
and the occasional pizza slice!
Send mudmail to Mystaric with your application!
Do it now, or we'll sic the Chadoyn on you. Grrr.

In your application please use the following format.

Why you want to join the paper staff.
What you feel you can do to make the paper better.
A brief sample of your writing using one of the following topics.
1. Informative - report on an event or happening in the realms
2. Creative story - Short piece of fiction.
3. Humor - Comical review or witty story.
4. Design - Sampling of your ASCII art.
Applications will be accepted for one week only.
Editor - Cry of Despair
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