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RoD Awards 2002; Edmond: Housing; RoD Radio! Dear Myra and Ilsensine

   Cry of Despair                                   Issue 57, 03/02
      .JNNNN` .JNNNNNL   NNNNNN.  |  In this month's issue:
     JNNNNN) JNNNNNNNNL (NNNNNNN. |    * The long-awaited results
    JNN`    JNN`    NNN (NN.  (NN)|      to the RoD Awards, 2002!
   (NN`    (NN`     NNF (NN`  (NN`|    * Articles on housing, runs,
   (NN.    (NN.    JNN` NNF  JNN) |      and RRN.
   (NNNNNN (NNNNNNNNN' (NNNNNNNF  |    * More Guild + Order news,
    4NNNN`  "NNNNNN`   NNNNNNF    |      including the IGPK results.
                                  |    * Quests, funny bones, poems,
         The Cry of Despair!      |      ant lots more as we give you
         ===================      |      yet another huge issue of
    *       *                 *   |      the MUD's definitivee 
                       *          |      paper, The Cry of 
      *           *               |      Despair!
   Editor: Khaimran                      Immortal Sponsor: Elisabet
   Staff:  Maray, Kuah, Begaria, Naithalia, Ilsensine, Myra, 
   Shingo, Vladith, Juliana, Tinani, Mauro, Mandasa, Silverwind.       

   Contents                                           CoD, Issue 57
   Desk of the Editor.

   RoD Awards 2002: Results.

   Juliana interviews Edmond on housing.

   Calamus answers Mandasa's questions on the RRN

   IGPK results are in, aswell as news from the
   organisations of the realms.

   The newest installment of RoD 101. This issue:
   The four basic run types.

   Myra and Ilsensine tackle your Valentine's day
   blues, aswell as your usual troubles.
   Quest Central! Not only a roundup of the past
   seasons' quests, but also two new ones to keep
   you thinking in the coming month.

   Funny bones you know and love.. or hate.

   Poems, stories, cookbooks. Just Words.

   An advertisement, from the Cry of Despair staff.

   Desk of the Editor - by Khaimran                          Editor

   Its 3am in the morning... someone please tell me what I'm doing
   up this late.. mutter. I wonder if Myra and Ilsensine know of a
   cure for insomnia. My problems aside, I'd like to share with you
   the startling fact that this March 2002 issue of the Cry of
   Despair is the lagest ever. For only the second time, we've
   managed to break 70 pages (pity Elisabet, who has the arduous 
   task of copy/pasting all of them into the relevant helpfiles so
   they make sense). In my totally unbiased opinion, its also one 
   of the best ever. We have the ever insightful Juliana with her
   help to the perplexed mudders of RoD, offering her own Realms 
   101 course, whilst Myra and Ilsensine take care of your more...
   personal problems. Shingo delivers with the results to the 
   Realms Awards, 2002, whilst Mandasa catches up with Calamus and
   the crew (or what used to be the crew) to find out more about 
   the Realms Radio Network, and much much more by the rest of our
   wonderful staff. And if you don't like this issue of the Cry,
   its your own fault for not submitting anything.
       - Khaimran Quena Tar'Yenea, Editor of the Cry

  The Realms of Despair Awards! - by Shingo              *FEATURE*

  After a month of voting, the winners are announced. There are a 
  few surprises, but for the most part, I believe a lot of this 
  year's winners could've been easily guessed. There are a number 
  of ties this year, but nothing like last year's scale. Over 90 
  players voted, but some had to be disqualified for being exact 
  copies. Because of the huge amount of votes, there are no "mass
  1 vote only" winners. Each place has their own unique winner(s).

  -=The Results!=-

  Best Male Immortal:           Best Female Immortal: 
  1st: Kali                     1st: Ceirana
  2nd: Edmond                   2nd: Iliana
  3rd: Nivek/Darrek             3rd: Moonbeam
  Best Male Roleplayer:         Best Female Roleplayer: 
  1st: Anmect                   1st: Rhyl
  2nd: Eric                     2nd: Rowanne/Shelaine/Vernese
  3rd: Aurelius/Mbwana/Forgrim  3rd: Tinque/Ardeth

  Best RoD Couple:              Best "New" Change:
  1st: Phred/Myra               1st: Housing
  2nd: Kali/Moonbeam            2nd: New Areas
  3rd: Shargate/Lascivias       3rd: ntoe list/xchan protect

  Worst "New" Change:           Most Memorable Quest:
  1st: Harder leveling          1st: HoRRoRSHoW
  2nd: Housing                  2nd: Survival in Despair
  3rd: No score for L1 chars    3rd: Tiki's Matchmaker
  Best Guild:                   Best Order:
  1st: Guild of Druids          1st: Ascendere
  2nd: Guild of Clerics         2nd: Inconnu/Baali
  3rd: Guild of Vampires/       3rd: Dragonslayer
       Guild of Paladins

  (A quick note from the Editor. The position of 1st in "Best 
  Guild" was the most hotly contested out of all categories, with
  Druids edging a single vote ahead of the Clerics.)

  Best Clan:                    Best Area:
  1st: Merida                   1st: Knights of the Round Table
  2nd: Anarchy                  2nd: The Tower of Despair
  3rd: Daemonite                3nd: A Moment in Nature

  Best Hometown:                Best Food Item:
  1st: Gith                     1st: Huckleberries
  2nd: Elf/Drow/Half-elf        2nd: burned Cadbury chocolate bar
  3rd: Human                    3rd: Magic mushrooms

  Best Drink Item:              Most Sought "Treasure":
  1st: Dry Martini              1st: a Tiny emerald music box
  2nd: Shot of golden tequila   2nd: a cuddly stuffed dragon
  3rd: Grog of the Gargoyle     3rd: a painted wooden top

  Most Likely to DT:            Best Dressed:
  1st: Sopwith                  1st: Aylssa
  2nd: Thartos                  2nd: Bacara
  3rd: Tinani                   3rd: Stoker/Eric/Simkin/Shelaine
  Most Wanted to be Balzhured:  "Fruit" Award:
  1st: Gul                      1st: Mino
  2nd: Vir                      2nd: Sartonis/Goomra
  3rd: Axius/Valcados/Mino/     3rd: Shingo

  Best Rename: 
  1st: Aylssa - Myra's Bedroom Slippers
  2nd: Evaine - Chocolate Covered Cherry
  3rd: Cresis - Wrath of PMS / Desidio - Chaos Intrinsic

  Best Social:                  Best Male Player:
  1st: grin                     1st: Axius
  2nd: heh                      2nd: Anmect
  3rd: waggle/thwap             3rd: Coelit
  Best Female Player:        
  1st: Aylssa
  2nd: Darshanin
  3rd: Lascivias
  And there you have it. Congratulations to all the winners. You 
  get no statuettes or mantle pieces, or even a gold coin. Just 
  the fact that there are people who know you exist, and felt that
  you should be credited/humiliated accordingly.
     - Shingo Solstice

  Edmond on Housing - by Juliana                      Housing

  Housing. Love it? Hate it? Can't imagine ever owning it? 
  Either way, its one of the biggest changes there's been to
  Realms on a mudwide level there's been for a while. 
  Producing endless gripes about its effect on the economy 
  and unavailability of properties, as well as looks of 
  jealousy towards of those who actually own houses/
  apartments, its definitely a talking point. So who better 
  to talk to about it, other than the immortal in charge? 
  Edmond has been the overseer of housing since its 
  inception, and one of our intrepid reporters caught up 
  with him to ask him a few questions.  Take it away, 
  Juliana.... -Ed.

  Juliana> Well, I understand houses and apartments are both 
  being released pretty regularly now, except houses are being 
  snapped up real fast. How many of each per month are you 
  expecting to release?
  Edmond> We have no set schedule. It's a "within reason"      
  mentality.  I would expect a slow down soon.                      
  Juliana> When you say "within reason," could you elaborate     
  on that?                                                            
  Edmond> The current pace is indicative.  I'd say 2 per week   
  on apartments is our current pace, and houses is much more        
  Juliana> Do you expect the average prices of houses to drop    
  from max bid any time soon, or will the infrequency of            
  houses on the market keep it up?                                          
  Edmond> I would expect the current frequency is intended to 
  keep the price as high as possible for the time being.  It 
  will be some time before prices drop off of max gold.

  Juliana> Any particular rationale for this?
  Edmond> Laws of economics - supply/demand?

  Juliana> Odd you should say that, since gold on the current 
  economy is being made very valuable. :) Replacing the glut 
  of overran equipment with a demand for housing, to keep up 
  the challenge? :P

  Edmond> There are undoubtedly some long awaited effects
  to the economy being produced by the demand for gold - and 
  we're very happy to see them.
  Juliana> All right, this next question is just to clarify 
  something I've been unclear about. Can one player or 
  character own more than one house/apartment if they had the
  cash to buy them?

  Edmond> One "character" can only own one.
  Juliana> On to a bit of technical question...I noticed 
  homebuy show # no longer displays the bidder. What's the 
  intention of this?

  Edmond> To keep it in line with the normal auction - and
  to keep people from spamming bidders/sellers.
  Juliana> Normal auction displays the winner of the auction
  at the end though, does the housing auction system do this?
  Edmond> Not currently - sale/purchase of homes isn't 
  displayed to all persons, although that's a good thought 
  and could be seen soon.

  Juliana> Do you think you could spare any hints for the 
  non-homeowners as to  what the accessories command really 
  does? Is it for houses only, or do apartment owners get it?

  Edmond>  "Help housing" gives you the answer there :)
  Note: Helpfile states accessories are for houses only.

  Juliana> I bet you're keeping up the mystery of accessories
  to keep up the demand. :P Well, the helpfile does say that 
  you can pick and choose from a list of 'approved' items. 
  Can you change the look of these accessories now, or any 
  plans to make it possible in the future?
  Edmond> Nope - accessories are "as bought", though an 
  enterprising person might spend glory.
  Juliana> Mmm. As the immortal in charge of this housing 
  project, what are the most common complaints you've heard 
  about it?
  Edmond> Infrequency of housing sold.

  Juliana> That's being addressed in the regularity of 
  housing being put up for auction now, anything else?

  Edmond> Honestly, that's it.  More functionality for 
  apartments is a big one, but our answer to that is simply 
  that apartments are already more functional than the 
  original code intended, and without making them "houses", 
  there's little more to add.
  Juliana> That brings up an interesting thought on that.
  Would it possible in the future to upgrade your apartment 
  to a house one day, for the cost of a house?

  Edmond> The code doesn't currently support that for 
  reality's sake.  The best option is to move out of the 
  apartment and move into a house.  Consider renting an 
  apartment and then asking the landlord to build more rooms 
  for you :P You also run into "price" issues for upgrading. 
  Who's to say what is a "fair" price for upgrading when the 
  price changes with the ebb and flow of the economy.

  Juliana> That's true, unless the "price" then became a    
  difficult to reach amount of glory.		                    
  Edmond> Which then puts us in the same boat as 	           
  permanent stat changes - who will ever actually purchase      
  Juliana> Heh heh, very true. :) Well, on to another        
  subject, should items in houses/apartments be locatable?       
  Edmond> The problem there is that without policing room   
  names, we end up with all sorts of things.  Then the              
  populace gets "surprised" when they locate items in certain

  Juliana> So would it be better to make all items in 
  homes not locatable, or will the populace have to exercise
  judgement in telling a home room name from accessible 

  Edmond> Housing rooms will no longer be locateable 
  after the next code port, most have already been changed.

  Juliana> Would that be the long awaited -codeport- or just
  a minor one for fixes?

  Edmond> A minor one.

  Juliana> Well, the other thing about homes is that they
  produce a lot of locked doors in the Realms. Any plans to 
  make them different from any other normal locked door, or 
  is it guesswork for the populace again?

  Edmond> Not currently - but it's been brought up and is a
  valid point. For right now it's guesswork.		              
  Juliana> Besides the above things I mentioned, do you have
  any unsaid plans for future improvements to the housing               
  system, or are things starting to balance out without           
  further problems?					            
  Edmond> I'd like to see better handling of the accessories
  once purchased. There are a myriad of unseen problems the 
  original coder never considered when developing for a much 
  smaller mud.  Even with the tremendous number of 
  improvements for a mud of our size, there is much to be 
  done.  The housing itself is stable, and functions are all
  working near normally.  But like everything we do, it's a 
  continuous work in progress to improve the experience for 
  the mortals.

  Juliana> Any further comments on the housing system before
  we close the interview? :)
  Edmond> We're happy we could finally get something that
  sparks interest as much as it does.  People need to be
  patient and be willing to continue to submit ideas through 
  mudmail and the "ideas" command.

    - Juliana Shadowfyre

  The Cry of Despair staff would like to thank Edmond for 
  the countless hours he's put into making housing a success.

  Realms Radio Network - by Mandasa                       RRN

  After a week of trying to pin down Calamus and the gang, 
  this reporter called into the realms radio network show to 
  see just what all the buzz was about.. 

  Disclaimer: I apologize, the answers aren't verbatim simply
  because I cannot type as fast as someone speaks.  
  How long have you been playing realms?
    Calamus: 1yr
    Kolgrath: 1yr
    Ralthgis (noob): 2 months

  What gave you the idea of realms radio?
    Calamus received a random email advertisement from while playing another game. When he started 
    Realms the idea came to him  to start the station and the
    rest is history.

  Why did you choose live365?
    We are on a dialup connection, with we are 
    able to connect to them and live365 broadcasts it out. 
    They allow up to 365 connections and since we don't have 
    365 listeners it works well for us. 
  What times does RRN broadcast live?
    9pm EST usually. Sometimes the show goes on as early as 
    5pm, other times not at all. Calamus and Kolgrath/
    Ralthgis host at different times during the week.  
  Who came up with and made the webpage?
    Tical, he registered the domain and has been a big asset
    for the show. 
  What types of things can we expect from RRN?
    A weekly feed, different spots, and more comedy bits. 
    We'd like to tape shows and put them on the feed. We have
    another account with live365 that will eventually have 
    the older loops on it so that new people just learning
    about the radio can listen to it and not have missed 
  If someone has an idea, piece, or song, where can they send
  it to? There's a link for song 
    requests, show suggestions and top 10 list. 
  How can someone call into RRN?
    If it's in the middle of a show, send a tell to person 
    running the show and they will give you the direct 
    number. You can also call into the Georgia number and 
    leave a shoutout or say hi on the voicemail. It is an 
    internet voicemail and it sends an email to Calamus. The 
    phone number is 678-222-1141. We eventually want to have
    another direct phone line with a publicized number that 
    we can give out.

  Who has called into RRN so far?
    Alot of people, including Mordheim and Morgane from 
    Australia, Aeriel, Shadia, Pardalis, Ashia, Mwbana, 
    Tical, Gryvon, Danatho, Kendron, Dekkath, Kador, and many

  When are you going to update the loop?
    Tomorrow (Feb 24), Calamus is going to be working on the 
    loop updating alot of pieces so you aren't listening to 
    the same stuff over and over. 

  What is your favorite part of the show?
    The match and trivia games are Calamus' favorite parts of
    the show. We try to get away from playing a lot of music
    because you can listen to that on your local radio 

  What's this about an Immortal show?
    That's Aeriel, she's collecting questions that are 
    mudmailed to her and will be answering the questions live
    on the radio.

  When will that show be?
    That hasn't been decided yet, most likely it will be a 
    weekly show on Fridays.

  Do you have anything to add for the readers?
    When we originally started this we thought we'd be 
    broadcasting to 5 people.  It's really taken off since
    then. We've went out and bought equipment  recently. We 
    each have own microphones, we have a speaker phone, a 
    radio mixer where we can fade out the music and such. We
    can see spending a lot more money on the show, there's so
    much more to get.. and it's not even about the money, we
    do it for the fans. We can also use the radio to expose 
    people to new music. We recently had someone send in a 
    song of a band they know and we played it. We welcome 
    people who are in the music industry sending mp3s of 
    their stuff to us.
    We are always looking for new ideas. Check out the 
    website at and everyone get 
    involved! It's a great project and it belongs to 
    everybody, we do what you want to hear. You can record 
    some bits for the radio so that we can showcase the 
    people that we have on realms.

  My thanks goes out to Calamus, Kolgrath, and Ralthgis for 
  allowing me to call in and interview them on their show. 
    - Mandasa

  The Editor of the Cry of Despair would like to point out 
  to the readers that two members of the Realms Radio Network
  staff, Kolgrath and Ralthgis, no longer play due to some 
  information coming to light. He wishes Calamus the best of
  luck in continuing with RRN.

  IGPK Report - by Mandasa                      Guild/Order Corner

  Well after 4 months of battles the Guild of Thieves emerge from
  the blood-filled arena victorious over the other guilds. We've 
  got the highlights!
  Date      Guild        vs    Guild            Who won? 
  Nov 21  Druid/Vamp     vs  Cleric/Thief     Cleric/Thief  
  Nov 24  Neph/Warrior   vs  Mage/Paladin     Mage/Paladin  
  Nov 28  Ranger/Pally   vs  Auggie/Thief     Auggie/Thief 
  Dec  1  Neph/Vamp      vs  Mage/Warrior     Mage/Warrior   
  Dec  5  Mage/Vamp      vs  Cleric/Paladin   Mage/Vampire 
  Dec  8  Ranger/Warrior vs  Thief/Druid      Thief/Druid 
  Dec 12  Cleric/Mage    vs  Neph/Auggie      Cleric/Mage  
  Dec 15  Mage/Ranger    vs  Druid/Auggie     Druid/Auggie 
  Dec 19  Warrior/Vamp   vs  Thief/Pally      Thief/Pally
  Dec 22  Neph/Pally     vs  Druid/Ranger     Neph/Pally 
  Dec 29  Augurer/Vamp   vs  Warrior/Pally    Warrior/Pally 
  Jan  5  Neph/Thief     vs  Cleric/Ranger    Neph/Thief
  Jan  9  Cleric/Vamp    vs  Neph/Ranger      Cleric/Vamp
  Jan 12  Mage/Thief     vs  Druid/Pally      Mage/Thief
  Jan 16  Druid/Warrior  vs  Cleric/Auggie    Druid/Warrior
  Jan 19  Auggie/Warrior vs  Pally/Vamp       Pally/Vamp
  Jan 23  Cleric/Warrior vs  Ranger/Auggie    Ranger/Auggie
  Jan 26  Vamp/Ranger    vs  Warrior/Thief    Warrior/Thief
  Jan 30  Neph/Cleric    vs  Auggie/Mage      Auggie/Mage
  Feb  2  Mage/Neph      vs  Druid/Cleric     Druid/Cleric
  Feb  6  Auggie/Pally   vs  Druid/Mage       Auggie/Pally
  Feb  9  Druid/Neph     vs  Thief/Ranger     Thief/Ranger
  Feb 13  Vampire        vs  Thief            Thief

    The final standing are as follows:
  -= First Place =-            9 wins 0 losses
   The Guild of Thieves      

  -= Second Place =- (tied)    6 wins 3 losses
   The Guild of Mages
   The Guild of Paladins
 -= Third Place =-             5 wins 4 losses
   The Guild of Augurers    

 -= Fourth Place =- (tied)     4 wins 5 losses
  The Guild of Clerics     
  The Guild of Druids
  The Guild of Warriors
 -= Fifth Place =-             3 wins 6 losses
  The Guild of Vampires     
 -= Sixth Place =- (tied)      2 wins 7 losses
  The Guild of Nephandi     
  The Guild of Rangers     

  A trophy was placed in the Kindship of Guilds (meeting room) 
  announcing the victory and the rankings of the other guilds. 
  Each guild was awarded a medallion showing the ranking of their 
  guild and the date. A special congrats goes to Radihatarn for 
  having the most killing blows. 
    The trophy looks like this:
              ,'                               ',    
              ,.-\:                          /-.,  
             |  ,|::.   Interguild Pkill     |,  |     
             | ( |::.  Tournament 2001/2002  | ) |    
             |  `|::.                        |`  |    
              `._|::.    Winner: Guild of    |_.`    
                 `::.        Thieves       .'        
                    \::.                   /          
                      \::.               /         
                        '::.           .'           
                          )          (            
                         /              '.
                      _,''               '',           

  Guild/Order News - by Mandasa                 Guild/Order Corner

  And now for some news from the guilds and orders.
  News from the Guild of Mages: 
  The Guild of Mages would like to welcome Asphera, Jenica, 
  Xirnon, Hallace, and Sardal to the Guild, and would like to 
  congratulate Tasicus, Xoxo, and Ellison on being named full 
  members of the Guild.
  News from the Guild of Augurers:
  We would like to welcome the following new inductees into our 
  guild: Loupgarous, Tuppe, Jyrbian, Kyrshil, Kenjiro, Logain, 
  Petros, and Gaendor. Welcome to Alerious as our new TS rep. 
  Thank you Zellon for being ours for a very long time. We don't
  know what happened to you, but I hope you're ok. Not only our TS
  rep changed, we have also a new second IGQC rep. Dalysa, thank 
  you for being the rep for a little while.  Dhaulagiri, thank you
  for being our new rep. Also big thanks to Yeroc, he made his 
  first interguildquest (I heard it was though but good) and for
  keeping us well up to date of IGQ activities. GoA would also 
  like to extend a big thanks to everyone who participated in the
  IGPK events.

  News from the Guild of Druids:
  The guild is currently holding elections for the position of 
  Second. The elections will end in March. (I'll be sure to bring 
  you the results next issue -Mandasa)

  News from Ringbearers:
  Welcome to our newest inductees Ronaldo, Ajax, Vikantus, 
  Xunerkane, and Ocin. 
  Congratulations to Venita and James on getting mudmarried!
  News from the Guild of Vampires:
  The recent election resulted in Mari being selected a First and
  the CoD's own  Tinani as Second. 
     Upcoming events:
  GoV and GoP are planing to get together for a Capture the flag 
  on Sunday, March 4th. It is expected to be a well supported and 
  fun event.
  News from the Guild of Clerics:
  Congratz to Canim as our newly elected Guild Second and luck to 
  him in the future! :)  We'd also like to welcome Woztore, 
  Tracoally, Shalako, and Iaanaise to the guild, we look forward
  to getting to know you all better! Also, gratz to Blaserin, who 
  is now happily mudmarried to Velora. And finally, a big gratz to 
  Shaelkire and Mnenarchment who became full  guildmembers. May 
  you always have plenty dirty carrots and kumquats! :)

     _______  ____________  ___  _______  ____________  ___   ____
    / ____/ |/ /_  __/ __ \/   |/ ____/ |/ /_  __/ __ \/   | / / /
   / __/  |   / / / / /_/ / /| | __/  |   / / / / /_/ / /| |/ / / 
  / /___ /   | / / / _, _/ ___ |/___ /   | / / / _, _/ ___ |_/_/  
 /_____//_/|_|/_/ /_/ |_/_/  |_|___//_/|_|/_/ /_/ |_/_/  |_||_)   

                       READ ALL ABOUT IT!                  
                       *IN TOWER HOME*

  - TOWER OF DESPAIR (Sunday, February 24, 2002: 5:12 p.m. EST) -

  MEWS reporters from all around the Realms have reported that 
  multiple dead bodies were found inside the Tower of Despair. 
  Among the bodies were Blackmote, Nightmare, Kargoth, a fire 
  elemental, and Orcus/Hastur. A couple of witnesses said they 
  spotted some of the following people in the area, but this 
  hasn't been confirmed: Aylssa, Axius, Reiokenon, Nemsar,
  Baralis, Sartonis, Valcados, Khelf, Lowick, Baltaros, and 
  It is believed that Hastur was the leader of an unknown gang who
  claim to be the Lords of Darkness, and the other bodies found in
  the area were members of this group. The mass murder which has
  taken place might be related to the notorious Orders of 
  Ascendere and Dragonslayers, who have been known to do silent 
  and deadly quick clean hits on their targets. Further 
  investigation will take place on both Orders as the Police try 
  to figure out the reasons for these killings, and if it was a
  dispute over territory or other motives.

    - Reported by Forssini (live on the scene!)

  IT was the time of the Ethereal Conflux, and we spoke unto our
  liege and mistress of things mysterious and secret, of knowledge
  and enlightenment. "Lady, our blades grow hungry. The Great Lord
  Hastur has fallen to the Dragonslayers and ourselves, and we 
  know not wither else to do."
  And the Ethereal Lady Aylssa spoke, "I cannot help you in 
  finding a foe greater than Hastur, but know this - The Lord 
  Ba'al has taken up my thrown gauntlet, and answered my challenge
  with his children ready to duel. We shall seek them out in the 
  arena...Overcome their power by finding their weaknesses, and 
  return their lives to him."
  So did one of our newest members, Forssini, the Forgotten Hero 
  and Kaiowas, Celestial of the Ether gather up their arms and 
  make ready to do battle. To level the field of combat, the 
  worthy heroes agreed to limit themselves to equipment totaling 
  up to a damage factor of a hundred and thirty. They sent forth 
  the champions of their personal armies, Aramina, Garnlanan and 
  Zyaxan, two vampires and a thief, chaos flanked by order.

  And thus did they enter, and gazed upon the Childer of Lord 
  Ba'al Himself, Desidio, Langtoly and Typh, in their own guises 
  of strength and cunning, two thieves and a vampire, stalkers and
  masters of the dark shadows. And before long, the watchful eyes 
  of the immortal Selina fixed their stare upon the combatants, 
  and hollow booming laughs echoed throughout the arena, for the 
  melee had begun.

  Crafty the children of the Lord Ba'al were, and blows dealt were
  returned, but the true powers of the Ethereal showed themselves 
  in the unity of the mind and coordination of their attacks. The 
  three slew the Childer without pause or casualty, releasing 
  their souls to Lord Ba'al. 
    Thus ended the challenge.

    - Khelf Treves-Bela Morte

  Realms of Despair  101 - by Juliana                      RoD 101

  The Definition of a Run aka "Runs, what're those?":
  Foggy. Very foggy, to say the least. But here's my personal 
  attempt at a definition anyway.
  It's got to have an avatar-level mob yielding avatar level eq as
  the focus. I apologize to all the lower-levels out there who 
  group up to do a "run" on the newt cleric or something, that's 
  grouping for xp or for the kicks of killing a mob beyond your 

  Whether more than one player or character takes part in the 
  killing of the mob is inconsequential. 

  Unarguably, a run is a group of multiple players teaming 
  together to kill an avatar-level mob beyond their ability to 

  What the heck does "Multi" mean, anyway?:
  To answer this very good question properly, we're going to have 
  to break down runs into two possible categories - multiple 
  players and/or characters - which overlap to form four types.
                    Single Player     |     Multiple Players
  Single Char             A           |            B        
  Multiple Char           C           |            D            

  Run Type A: Single Character + Single Player:
  Some people would debate as to this can be called a run. This is
  definitely termed a "solo-kill" in both respects. Simply put, 
  one person goes out with a single character and kills something 
  to get its equipment. This strategy is usually possible with 
  easy-to-kill mobs and a fairly buff av char.

  Run Type B: Single Character + Multiple Players:
  Ah, the heart of most runs these days. A group of players with 
  ip 1 and a single character each, all beating on a mob. Good run
  leadership and run etiquette by all members make for a far more 
  enjoyable social gathering.

  A lot of mobs have guards against multi (ip 2+) in the form of 
  programs which check if someone attacking it is multiplaying and
  do fairly annoying stuff like junk their equipment, refuse to 
  pop, do extra damage ranging from ow, OW to insanely OW! and 
  slaying people outright. Hence, why it is crucial to always test 
  a mob with and without multi.

  Run Type C: Multiple Characters + Single Player:
  This particular type breaks down into two distinctly different 
  strategies. The first is the use of separate characters for 
  special skills such as healing, poison, spellups/spelldowns or 
  otherwise before hitting the mob with a buff character. This 
  strategy is often used by players just starting out, since they
  only have a few avs at hand, and is very closely related to run 
  type A. 

  The second strategy relies on what used to be a fairly common 
  sight on the mud. The multiarmy. Laws now limit one person with
  up to 8 characters, but this is still very much an exercise in
  multitasking. Aliases, macros and triggers help a great deal to
  the successful running of an army. This strategy works on the 
  premise of "the more the merrier," and the optimum usage of each
  classes' special skills.

  I'd be the first to admit that this strategy leads (led, did 
  lead) to nuclear escalation in both mob strength and number of 
  characters being used to kill a mob, making it impossible for 
  the average guy without so many characters to even scratch it. 
  Hence, a clamp-down on multied char numbers and multi-guards
  in a lot of the recent mobs.

  I'd also be the first to acknowledge that to a certain class of 
  people (myself included), multiarmies are hellishly -fun-. 
  There's something about the efficiency and sheer power that just
  appeals to the hack-and-slasher. Or the joy of seeing well 
  written scripts work. No need for a headache trying to split the 
  loot between five people or stay for hours to get enough 
  equipment, just in and out and wham!

  Personally, my thoughts are that major numbers of mobs are 
  multi-guarded and that the multiarmy run strategy will never 
  work for a good many mobs. Yet, if you have the capability and 
  the aptitude, enjoy on the mobs that remain, but do not spamkill
  them. Doing so will ruin everyone's fun, as the mobs have to get
  changed due to the overbalancing effect, and the multi-armier 
  will lose yet another mob to the onslaught of ip1.

  Run Type D: Multiple Characters + Multiple Players:
  As mentioned above, there's a similar run strategy of using 
  other characters to spell up and down before quitting them out 
  and running the mob as a group on ip1. See run type B. 

  The other run strategy in this category is the massive 
  multiarmy. Sometimes, it's a case of needing more than 8 
  characters to kill, so you grab a friend or two to log on more 
  than that. Other times, it's not necessarily ip1 but ip2 or ip3 
  that is the maximum, so that allows for fewer players required 
  to make up character numbers.

  How do you Tell Which Strategy to use?:
  Besides the very often used tactic of asking someone how to run 
  a specific mob, the only other things that are going to help is 
  experience and experimentation.
  The more running experience you have as a player, the more 
  you're exposed to little variations on the above general running 
  strategies, and can figure out which would probably be the best
  to use in a particular case - based on limitations such as 
  tunneled rooms, or multi-guards.

  Note I said probably. Because in the end, if you don't go out 
  there (with or without friends) and experiment on the mob, 
  you're never gonna find out which strategy actually works to 
  kill it!

    - Juliana Shadowfyre

  Dear Myra + Ilsensine - by Myra           Hope After Valentine's

  Hope after Valentine's Day
  As the roses on your neighbor's kitchen table begin to wilt and 
  you gaze longingly at them, know that it is not too late.  
  Whether you are in a relationship with someone that does not 
  believe in Valentine's Day or if you found yourself alone on 
  this largely commercialized event, there is hope.
  For many single souls out there, February 14 can be a very 
  lonely day. However, rather than looking at this day as a time 
  when you are without someone to love, look around you.  I am 
  certain you can find at least one friend worthy of a reminder 
  that you care.  This person does not have to be of the opposite 
  gender or even someone you find attractive.  Just a person that 
  you care about and value as a friend.  They can be a sibling,
  a neighbor, a parent or even a teacher.  The gift that you give
  should not be extravagent, but rather a simple message.  You can 
  hand make a Valentine out of construction paper or buy a card at
  the store.  Even a small bag of candy or a CD of their favorite
  music would be fine. Use your imagination.  When all is said and 
  done, you will feel a little less depressed about the day.

  Now, for those of you that find yourself smitten with someone 
  that either dislikes Valentine's Day or is not much of a 
  romantic, do not despair. You have a few options with relation 
  to coping or changing here. In some cases, you might suggest (do
  not hint, for many people are oblivious to hints) activities 
  that would please you most during this time of year. Something 
  else to consider is finding "romantic websites" and printing 
  ideas/suggestions and giving them to your love for ideas.  If 
  you attempt to discuss the subject, try not to focus on 
  Valentine's Day as the center of the conversation.  Instead, 
  talk about ways to express your love all throughout the year. 
  On the other side of this, if you are the type of person that 
  thrives on pleasing others, try the advice given for the single 
  people.  Of course you will want to focus on your love rather 
  than just any friend, but you can include friends if you like.
  Spread your love around and you will feel love in return.  This 
  may help to ease the pains of disappointment when those flowers
  delivered at the office are not for you.
    - Wilted Rose Myra

  Hope after Valentine's Day

  Did you get a big bunch of red roses this Valentine's Day? A box
  of chocolates? Some sexy lingerie? Or perhaps something too 
  risque to mention? 

  What's that you say? You got nothing at all? Not a bean, not an 
  old sock, not even a life-size cardboard cut-out of the mighty 
  specimen of a man that is George W Bush?
  Oh dear, I can see you need the help of an experienced 
  healthcare professional. However, we don't have any of those, so
  instead I will proceed to induce mild trauma amongst you.

  If you didn't receive anything for Valentine's Day, let's begin
  to analyse why this is the case and what can be done about it...

  1) You are single. Nobody loves you... except possibly your 
  mother out of sympathy and little else. You know the type... the
  mother pushing the pram containing the square-headed baby cooing
  some babble about 'isn't he cute?' Anyways... as I was saying...
  nobody loves you. This must be amended quickly before next year 
  if you are to avoid eternal misery. There are a number of 
  products on the market which may help you here. Amongst these, I
  recommend : soap, deoderant and shampoo. Other handy hints 
  include advanced rhinoplasty, and decorative use of small dogs 
  and sellotape to enhance the mind and body.

  2) You aren't single, yet you still didn't get anything. This 
  category is perhaps more worrying than the prior one. There is a
  definate problem here, all that must be calculated is where that
  problem lies. Assuming your relationship is monogamous, it's 
  either you or your partner. Did you give something and receive
  nothing in return? Or did you give nothing and selfishly expect 
  gifts regardless? If you gave nothing, slap yourself and go to
  bed. If you gave something, slap your partner twice and don't go
  to bed with them. That should help, especially where your 
  partner is male.

  All in all... remember that Valentine's Day is the most special 
  and fantastic day in the whole year, and that if you didn't get 
  anything it means your life has all the utility of a damp 
  Actually, there is one thing that will give you purpose. Find 
  those around you who have healthy. loving and productive 
  relationships. Find small ways to leach away their fun and 
  happiness. Poison their love!

  For this you will need - 4 rubber bands, 1 packet of cake icing, 
  1 frozen apple, 4 quarts napalm, 1 donkey, 1 healthy 
    - Frost-Shattered Lily Ilsensine

   Dear Myra & Ilsensine
  Is it true that huckleberries enhance a persons prowess and that
  Phred 'needs' them, scavenging buckets and buckets of the 
     -Huckleberry Sue
   Dear Huckleberry Sue,
  Well, after researching various aphrodisiacs and natural herbs, 
  I was unable to prove that huckleberries may "enhance a person's
  prowess."  However, it might be interesting to note that as an 
  herb, huckleberries are known for bringing luck and protection 
  as well as dream magic and hex-breaking properties. As for 
  Phred's necessities, I can assure you that he is not in need of
  such an aid.
     - Myra

   Dear Huckleberry Sue,
  Huckleberries, schmuckleberries... now... where were we? Oh yes,
  huckleberries. After spending several days in a pseudo-catatonic
  state, I am able to shed light upon this quandry. I was visited
  (rather rudely, I might add) by a representative deity of the 
  little known 'Panties Pantheon' - she sent unto me the following
  wisdom :
       'When one goes out with a lust,
        To gather huckleberries fine,
        Check your bucket carefully,
        Test it by filling with wine,
        There should be not a single hole,
        Within your wonderous bucket,
        For if there is, when you get home,
        It'll be far far harder...
        Or not.'
  Warning :- Phred pees in fountains.
     - Ilsensine

   Dear Myra & Ilsensine
  Why am I so misunderstood?  Why does everyone think I'm cold?  I
  have an extremely friendly personality and am easy to get along
     - Frostillica
   Dear Frostillica,
  I do try to be a student of human nature, and it is apparent 
  that not everyone reacts the same to different types of humor.  
  Having said that, I think it best that you not worry about what 
  other's think and just continue upon your own path in life.  I 
  am quite certain that there are those that accept you for who
  you are.  Judge not lest ye be judged.
     - Myra

   Dear Frostillica,
  The misunderstood misunderstand themselves, or they fail to 
  comprehend that the persona they emit is the one others will 
  acknowledge. You must ask yourself how you wish to be seen and
  compare that to the reality of how you truly are. Discover if 
  the object is worth the price you will pay. 
    I leave you with this...

     'That which dwells ever in winter may plead for warmth,
      But as the first rays of sun hit the frozen heart,
      It will melt and be forever a changed thing.'
      - Ilsensine

  Winter Quests Writeup - submitted by Pheayre       Quest Central

  This winter, the Quest Council provided us with no shortage of
  quests to keep bored RoDders entertained. Here's Pheayre, with
  a quick roundup of the action. -Ed.

  Winter signifies a specifically bleak time of the year. However,
  with the advent of magic and invention, warmth and food during 
  the winter season hasn't become much of a problem with most 
  denizens of the Realms.
  This year was different. Only the most highly trained observer 
  of events would have noticed. The snowfall was imperceptibly 
  heavier in the well-travelled areas of the Realms, and there 
  was a chill in the air that could send shivers down your spine 
  without you noticing the cold. To most people, it was just a 
  matter of a little more bundling up...

  Things were not as hospitable in the furthest reaches of the 
  Realms. The outposts were in dire need of supplies, and the 
  heavy storm activity thwarted even the most determined efforts
  to resupply them. Reports of odd monsters ravaging the 
  countryside were not uncommon, but for some reason they seemed
  more powerful than normal. The people wondered if Scryn was 
  losing his touch, and if his winter element was slipping from 
  his controlled grasp. Things were definitely not as they seemed
  on the surface this winter...
  Even with the slightly ominous outlook, there were members of 
  the gods who took advantage of the wintery wonderland. One of 
  the pixie goddesses delighted in the extra snowfall, and was 
  determined to make the best of the situation.

  She wished for snowmen! Oh, how did she wish for them! So she 
  sent out a call to the citizen of the Realms to satisfy her 
  wish. Their quest was to find various patches of snow which she 
  had magically altered into perfect spheres. With each piece 
  connecting to another, a majestic community of snowmen sprung up
  around the Realms, delighting child and adult alike. She was 
  very pleased indeed. The half-elven patron of druids and rangers
  decided that it would not be outdone by the pixies, and as such 
  devised a game of skill and marksmanship. The traditional 
  battles-to-the-death did not sate its desire for excitment, so 
  it added a wintery twist: a child's game, turned into a deadly 
  contest. Swirling energies and adding magically-enhanced snow, 
  it created the perfect snowball and a complementing weapon, 
  capable of turning these snowballs into deadly missiles of 
  accuracy. Yes indeed, even as the few mortals who had the chance
  to participate in its little game of bloodshed left the snow-
  filled Arena, plans for future tournaments had already begun.

  Not all of the gods managed to take advantage of the winter 
  season. Some were even called to matters of the utmost urgency. 
  One of the half-elven demi-gods was called into service as the 
  dwindling supplies of the furthest outposts of the Realms cried
  for help. With his aid and that of a team of valiant avatars, 
  starvation was staved off for at least a short time. 
  Additionally, a strange and powerful ice creature lay its icy 
  claws on a piece of the Realms, creating havoc on any who dared
  oppose him. A half-elven Savior intervened, and selected a 
  mighty force of Avatars to defeat the lich, and conquer its 
  riddles. With its power drained, and its labyrinth of puzzles 
  solved, the lich was no more.

  Truly, this has been a very strange and bleak winter. From the
  surface, beauty abounded in the form of snow-covered valleys 
  and plains, icicle-laden trees and shrubs, and glittering lakes
  that sparkled like diamonds. Scryn's element of power was most
  definitely a breathtaking sight to behold. But underneath it 
  all, something lurked. Something colder than the very wintery
  heart of the season itself. And the gods were puzzled.

  And when the gods are puzzled, something for certain is amiss.

   - submitted by Pheayre Lendicol

  You'll have the times of your life solving this one! It may look
  like an ordinary crossword, but the answers and clues are made 
  up of numbers, not letters. Here's how it works: Each clue is 
  the product of the digits in the answer. For example, the 7283 
  is our given answer for 19-Across, whose clue is 336 (7x2x8x3). 
  There will be no zeros anywhere in the answer grid, and no digit
  appears more than once in any answer.

  1) 14    8) 168   15) 90    22) 21   28) 24   34) 4
  3) 12   10) 6     17) 70    23) 20   29) 60   35) 32
  5) 20   11) 8     19) 336   24) 40   31) 45        
  7) 24   13) 162   21) 70    26) 15   33) 28        
  1) 16    5) 168   14) 240   20) 168  27) 108
  2) 84    6) 30    16) 15    21) 5    28) 56
  3) 42    9) 54    18) 35    23) 40   30) 20
  4) 24   12) 384   19) 21    25) 15   32) 40

  The Crossword table:

       |1  |2  |###|3  |4  |#######|5  |6  |
       |7  |   |###|8  |   |9  |###|10 |   |
       |###|11 |12 |###|13 |   |14 |   |###|
       |#######|15 |16 |   |###|17 |   |18 |
       |19 |20 |   |   |###|21 |   |   |   |
       |22 |   |   |###|23 |   |   |#######|
       |###|24 |   |25 |   |###|26 |27 |###|
       |28 |   |###|29 |   |30 |###|31 |32 |
       |33 |   |#######|34 |   |###|35 |   |

    - By Silverwind

  (.   \                -"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-                    
    \  |                Spring Time Quest-athon                    
     \ |___(\--/)       -"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-"-                    
   __/    (  . . )                                                 
  "'._.    '-.O.'          Thats right, Spring time is upon us all 
       '-.  \ "|\      and the Cry is offering the following quest
          '.,,/'.,,    to everyone interested. Three people will  
                       chosen at random from the most correct     
     entries. On the following pages, you will find a series of 10 
     questions in riddle form. Mudmail all of your entries  ____  
     to our dear Elisabet. Spring is a time of rebirth and /   .) 
     as such holds many special hollidays, from            |  /   
     Easter to St. Patrick's day. you many just   (\--/)___| /    
     find something special in these questions.  ( . .  )    \__  
     Remember, if you have any questions contact  '.O.-'    ._.'" 
     Elisabet or Tinani, it is better to ask a    /|" /  .-'      
     silly question than get something wrong.   ,..'\,,.'      

  1-  The time of year it does seem to be, a spell for mage and 
     followers of tree, the name is like the New Years' bloom... 
     What be the spell that saves from doom?
  2-  From the chicken, and born of newt, it comes to be but ain't
     a fruit. What is this Easter thing from which joys, and 
     happiness does now spring?
  3-  This room does show the locate spell, the heart of where the
     trees and raccoons do dwell. The item there is all the time,
     good quest item soon but what be that room?
  4-  The Beasts do dwell, and romp, and spring, in grove Holy
     where druids sing, their ears do flop, they hop, they bop, as 
     players on their heads do thwap. 
  5-  Light of green leaf we do see, from Dunhill Demesnes it has 
     been. To give to a piper the key you'll get, but what be this
     trifile? this Tribble? This trat?
  6-  This flower does bloom, it gives right away, to maidens so 
     fair in where the carnival folk play. The wizard's good son 
     he does give them away, in any a month from June to May.
  7-  This plant is so sweet, in zodiac it stays, with ram-like
     mob in the way. The galaxy shows the true beauty of foes, if 
     the blossoms can bloom like this, now go!
  8-  If lucky is four, than this almost twice more, on the 
     green leafed clover, what could it be? wWat could it be?
     Stick this in your pipe and smoke it.
  9-  The title is clear, this quest's instructions dear, but what
     be the animals around them?
  10- Locate, Locate, in and out, the Irish brew be on this lout.

    - by Tinani

  Funny Bones -  by Tinani                             Funny Bones

  Leaders and imms around realms were asked the same question that
  has been bugging the world for years... 
  "What is a Wibble?"

  Aeriel   - Why, it's the cosmic twin of the wobble! I thought
             everyone knew that...
  Shadrack - Mmm... I feel a wibble is something like a double
             wobble :)
  Stoneheft- A very unsplutiferous mignamation of the lower 
             gloumerious area can be a wibble, if you do it really
  Racin    - A Wibble? What would I want one of those furry lil 
             monsters for? Oh, wait that was a Tribble wasn't it..
  Maray    - Some things man was never meant to know...
  Mordheim - Hrm I dunno. Shaking your rump? :)
  Zyandra  - It is the combination of a wiggle and a wobble.
  Loril    - I figure it's a cross between a wiggle and waggle.
  Sareko   - I'd say its the face you make when you actualy say
             that word loud. You know, say "WIBBLE!" in a childish 
             way... That's a wibble.

  If you were a leader and you accidentally outcasted someone what
  would your excuse be to them?
  Zya      - I didn't like your shoes.
  Thorpe   - After further reflection, we've decided to accept
             you back into the guild/order IF you promise the 
             uphold our creed?
  Shargate - "And on the 4th day, Optimus prime said - Thou shalt
             not pay heed to (char), and he was thence cast forth
             from Fraggle Rock."
  Moonbeam - I never make excuses. I never make mistakes :)
  Shadrack - Okies... I'd say they were outcast for non-payment
             of guild fees and Second's expenses for the quarter..
             But i was soft and they could have more time to pay.
  Aphrael  - My evil step-sisters made me do it!
  Tiki     - I'd tell them that they hadn't come up with their
             sugar quota for the week, and upon bringing me a 
             cookie or two, they might be in my good graces again.

  Holly has a photographic memory, she just ran outta film.
  Kendron openly traffics: ltb title. 
  Alarial Corslokh the nite of grammer and speling. 
  Garrund Ravenyze,"I intend to live forever--so far,so good.
  Ienna spreads her Mudherpes [BOT]. 
  Loremanonvu: You will be acirculated. Fleeing is futile.
  Malore wears tight pants and picks up the pencils that Iliana drops.
  Mercestes D'Moriarty, The horns are there to hold the halo.
  Aithne LifeBringer. A doughnut by any other name..... 
  Conran: If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

  Foamfoller says 'i ate a snail once'
  Foamfoller says 'garden snail in kindergarden, had apple in one
  hand, snail in other and got distracted'

  The pituitary disfunction formerly known as Prince musics 'This 
  is what it  sounds like when Doves cry...    Coo   coo...   Coo'

  Temple of Thoughts -  submissions                          Words

          The Temple of Thoughts       
                    by Pardalis Bloodthorne           

  I know a temple composed of thoughts 
  It is under a most powerful reign.. 
  Doors are locked and windows barred 
  Yet still it calls my name.              
  Origin left in the ruins of time, 
  Yet it's builder, still alive.                 
  For this temple continues to grow,   
  And from it, I should thrive.                  
  The temple tends to reflect moods,  
  For it will copy my current state,   
  If happy, it illuminates with light-
  Enshrouds in darkness, should I hate 
  Fear brings about most the horrid things,
  Which the warm hearth of love wards away,
  Anger and greed will deteriourate it -   
  And guilt, the insurance I pay.  

  Yet should I ask why it's here?..       
  As this is my curiosity.           
  For To enter, I must first unlock..  
  And knowledge be the key.   
  So enter I do, and I traverse on  
  Through these mysterious darkened halls..
  For there's a raspy voice at it's end,  
  And 'tis my name it calls..     
  ..For my mind is a temple composed of thoughts,                
    Which builds with the knowledge I gain..                 
    And tis the knowledge which opens these gates               
    To it's power, which I reign...                  

    Silver, Lust and Dragons,
          by Tinani Blood'Drake

    The sun burned high in the skies above Dragon Pass and the
  cries of a multitude of powerful creatures roared in the noon 
  light. Inside the various caves and atop the peaks of the pass,
  the dragons prepared their nests for the coming of a new brood.
    Ferocious sounds arose from the lair of the most powerful of 
  them all, the silver dragon. Her brood will grow strong and 
  stretch from east to west creating lairs of their own. This is 
  a mystical event which occurs only once every thousand years, 
  and now is the time for it to happen again. The strength of the
  mother dragon will increase ten-fold as she bears her single 
  egg. Screams of pain and horror surround the cave, something 
  horrific and evil was stirring. Three strong adventurers entered
  the cave of the silver dragon. Staring evilly, their eyes filled
  with visions of greed and glory from the thoughts of her silvery

    Outside in the Pass, mages and clerics stood ready to aid 
  their friends who had just ventured inward. Leaning against the 
  mountain side one cleric trimmed his nails with a dagger. 
  Suddenly, his eyes widened as the corpses of the three thieves 
  appeared beside him embedded in the rock. Light clouds of gas
  remained from the dragon's powerful breath attack. A powerful
  roar erupted from cave scattering the avatars six ways to 
  Tuesday. Now, satisfied that she had protected her nest the 
  silver dragon rested, beside her a newly laid egg with veins of
  silver running across the shell.
    Clouds gathered in the once serene sky and a harsh wind 
  picked up. Thunder boomed in the sky and lightning struck the
  peaks of the pass. The silver dragon stirred as she sensed the
  powerful presence, and rested again, unaware that her closely
  guarded egg was being removed ever so silently.
    Another crack of thunder forced her eyes open just in time
  to see her egg moving silently down the pass. In a rage the 
  dragon shot up and moved towards the cave mouth, but a powerful
  drift of darkness wafted into the cavern. Falling to the 
  ground, the great silver dragon lay paralyzed.

    Within the city of Darkhaven, the reconstruction of numerous
  damaged buildings was going on as scheduled. Sitting on a pile 
  of newly shaped marble, Kellandra sat relaxed with the remainder
  of her guild. The work detail had been working non-stop to 
  rebuild what had once been an impressive chapel. The loss of 
  Sonoria had hit the City hard and even months afterwards a 
  gloom hung over the heads of all who knew her, especially 
  Kellandra. With the shops destroyed, the people on the streets
  were almost starving to death. Kellandra and her guild tried to 
  do what they could, but the handful of clerics that were left
  could not handle the demand. Most of the other avatars had 
  moved on to places of greater wealth, from Solace to Shadowport. 
  Only a handful of the original guilds remained.

    Beside the group of resting clerics, a dark unseen form 
  dropped the stolen egg. Kellandra was the first to notice the 
  treasure and with great fear she quickly realized the origins of 
  the object. Darting her eyes to the sky she looked for the 
  danger that would soon be upon them. Jumping up quickly, the 
  leader of the clerics grasped the egg and headed towards the 
  ruins of her guild. And standing upon the sheet of solid marble 
  that once served as their home she called for the Raging Peace.

    Within the chamber of the leaders she called forth the 
  remaining Guilds (the orders having collapsed). Soon standing in
  the Raging Peace stood Wiglaff new head of the Vampire guild, 
  Kellandra leader of the Cleric guild. Riley leader of the Mages,
  and Ilena head of the Warriors. As Kellandra lay the egg before 
  them, each one knew what they had to do. It was their job to 
  return it to the mother dragon before she comes down upon their
  shattered city. Just what was stopping her now was beyond their
    That very day they set out for the pass. Gathering in the 
  square the four Guildmasters began their journey. The eastern 
  gate of Darkhaven was blocked by droves of people, from the 
  guards to the merchants that once thrived in the city. Voicing 
  their opinions and demanding the solid silver egg, the mob 
  began to attack.

    The warrior drew his sword and the mage began to summon a 
  powerful spell, Kellandra chanted silently sanctifying the 
  group. Wiglaff tapped his group on the shoulders and stepped in 
  front of them. Letting out an ear piercing wail the front lines
  of the mob exploded into bits. The group shrugged and advanced. 
  A dark mist wafted in from the open gate and the dismembered 
  body parts once again formed attackers. With a fury not seen 
  before, the four hacked apart the Darkhaven residents but time
  and time again the dead arose and continued the fight. 
  Exhausted, the group became overwhelmed and was soon forced to 
  fall back into the square. Additional crowds appeared from the 
  north south and west and fighting back to back the group tried 
  its hardest to remain alive.
    All hope seemed to be lost. The mob slowly wore away at the 
  group scratches became deep gashes and gashes became open 
  wounds. When the fighters were sure that these would be their 
  last moments, shimmering blue auras appeared from nothing. 
  Through those portals stepped scores of avatar vampires, 
  warriors, mages, and clerics. They began to fight valiantly 
  alongside their leaders. Shrieks shattered mobs apart and the 
  blasts of gas from the mages struck even more down. The 
  warriors hacked their way to the eastern gate and the cleric's
  dispel magic slowed the mob's regeneration. Running for the 
  gate the group of four forced every ounce of strength they had
  left to reach the pass. Unknown to them, the silver dragon had
  escaped the dark spell that held her and she was already in 
  flight towards her egg.

    Stopping dead in their tracks the group turned back as the
  dragon broached The hill. Her wings flapped with fury as she 
  headed screaming towards the group. A disembodied arm grabbed
  Kellandra by the foot, and the portal carrying the egg went 
  flying into the air. Time slowed as the sun glinted off the 
  silvery egg and with a quick snatch of her talons the dragon 
  retrieved the egg and swooped off towards the pass.

    The group of leaders shrugged helplessly and started back 
  towards the city. Trotting through the scattered body parts and
  corpses of the population of Darkhaven, Wiglaff asked Kellandra
  just who would be rebuilding her guild now. Staring blankly for
  a moment she replied, "There's lots of newbies out there. We 
  will just torture them into doing it." Stopping for a moment 
  Wiglaff replied, "You can use torture for that? I've just been 
  doing it for fun."
     The End
    - Tinani Blood'Drake Killer of Small Bunnies

  After two submissions of frozen goodies I feel it a good idea to
  cook something warm for those cold nights. so here is the 
  ultimate in garlic bread.
  What do you need?
  1tbsp per piece   Thickened Moo Juice (Butter)
   of bread  
  3 bulbs           Vampire Repellant   (Garlic)
  1tsp per piece    Pixie Dust          (Parmesan Cheese)
   of bread
  1/4 tsp per tbsp  Vamp'B'Gone Powder  (Garlic Powder)
   of butter
                    Bread               (Uhh.. Bread)
                    Volcanic Oven       (Oven)

  How do you make it?
  * Set your oven to 350 degrees F
  * Chop garlic into a fine paste. You may also use the fine 
    grater or a garlic press.
  * Mix in garlic with softened butter and a pinch of garlic 
    powder after its mixed (not before. If you mix ground garlic
    with garlic powder it will turn into a sticky lump of 
  * Spread your new garlic spread onto however many pieces of 
    bread you make and put in the oven. (store bought garlic 
    spread works just as well).
  * When the edges start to brown pull them out. Add a sprinkle 
    of powder on top of the garlic bread and a sprinkle of 
    parmesan cheese. 
  * Continue cooking until it starts to brown. BE CAREFUL, the 
    cheese and garlic will brown quickly and will burn if not 
    watched it will take less than a minute to finish. You may 
    or may not want to add cheese, as it tastes fine without.
      - Tinani Blood'Drake Killer of Small Bunnies

  RP Individual (sung to Gilbert & Sullivan's "Modern Major 
  General"), submitted by Eldygar

  My friends and I we gather for some fun out on the Internet
  Our MUD-y antics textual, political and intricate
  We make up a persona, a description and biography
  Like Paladins and Rangers in a medieval fantasy
  With clever prose and angsty woes we try hard to be literate
  As stories told and scenes unfold, the plot we must develop it
  But if you please, "Hurray For Me" is not a good philosophy
  A fall from grace from lofty place is better contrapuntally

  (Elven chorus)
     A fall from grace from lofty place is better contrapuntally
     A fall from grace from lofty place is better contrapuntally
     A fall from grace from lofty place is better contrapuntally

  I used to bear the title of the Elven army General
  My RP fights on moonlit nights are almost semi mythical
  My emotes are apocryphal, satirical and whimsical
  I am the very model of an RP individual
  (Elven chorus)
     His emotes are non-sensical, they're truly undecipherable
     He is the very model of an RP individual

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